Friends don't treat their friends like the way she treated one...

The one thing you don't need is her pity. The other thing you don't need is to work it out with her. I know it seems like an option but it's really not..you deserve better...much better.

I think she has a lot of nerve thinkin she can be a "friend" after what she did to you. I'd personally tell her to jump in a lake, but I know that wouldn't help anything.

All I can say is WOW! What is she thinking? My stbx wants us to be friends as well. I told him that we would NEVER be friends PERIOD!

It may be guilt?, remorse? to a certain degree. No one escapes from their deeds untouched, no one!!!!!!

I believe that "I want to be your friend", which most of dumpee's have had layed on us is an attempt to clear their conscience.

she simply wants to feel better about herself...

It's the guilt -- definitely the guilt. See, if you're all happy sunshine, puppies and rainbows, she doesn't have to feel so bad about what she's done. In fact, heck, she's done you a favor! Look how happy you are! Seeing you sad and hurt does nothing but drive home what an immoral, heartless, selfish bitch she is. (Oooo, is that a little harsh? I've had just a couple glasses of Thanksgiving wine, lol!)

Nope,, not guilt at all,,, You are a safety net! When she falls on her face out in the cruel world you will be there to pick up the pieces! I feel the same way and it took me a while to figure it out! Be careful and don't let her use you!

Guilt? They suffer guilt? This is news to me. If he came and said he wanted to be friends I have to say I'd just laugh in his face!

My STBX wanted to be friends. The truth is they miss your company in some way, but they are so out there with their own issues they can't maintain a normal relationship.
Unless you have kids, I don't so I told him we are not friends. We maintain a simple email relationship that is only there to tie up minor details of the divorce. There is no correspondence like friends. I agree with devonr, who would treat their friends this way?

Nope no friends here. I agree with devonr and Rob. Friends don't cheat, lie, steal, manipulate and hurt you Period! They want to be your friend because of the guilt and they do miss something of the relationship. Let them suffer the loss. No no friendship for my husband not after the selfish crap he sent my way. I believe that even if I can dump the pain and anger ---I still don't want to be his friend. I will be civil and brief. When and where do you want to see the kids. That's it.Throw me the the kids away and you GET NOTHING no perks no NOTHING!!!

Jen70...."happy sunshine, puppies and rainbows" that is the funniest thing I have seen all day.

Hello KelHurts I have to go with the group this is selfish guilt. Normal guilt would admit wrong doing and applogize. Selfish guilt has no intention of saying or doing anything that will make yo feel better. They just say empty words like I'm here if you want to talk or We can still be friends. That way when things go south during the divorce, and they will go south, they can throw it in your face that they wanted to be the bigger person.

She may have come over with the Olive Branch but if you look closely you will see it's a plastic Olive Branch.

my STBX also says that we can remain friends. after taking all my money, leaving me with all the debt (as much as he took), a daughter with cancer...he says that he still loves me, but can't deal with my kids. (they are all from my first marriage) but, like everyone has said...that isn't the actions of a friend, he lives his own life, has very little contactyet wants to call our relationship friendships?
i don't treat my friends like that, i don't want to be his friend, i want to be his wife, the intimacy we shared makes us more than friends. i don't think i can have just half of what we had....i want it all or nothing....is that crazy or what?

Hey, I'm new here I just can't get enough support right now. I live in a very small town and I travel excessively for work which means I spend a large amount of time away from people wo support me. I do sometimes spill the beans to "the man on the street" on very bad days. Its emotional puking. You just can'thold it back and then there it goes all over somebody.Sometime you get compassonate hug other times a strange look.

"Friends:, "working together for the childen,... my ex told me story about a divorced couple in tis town wo vacation 2 to 3 week weeks out of the year togethter.This is her model for our future realtiohsip.

WHAT IS THAT! I mean one crazy person can make you crazy but two crazy peope off on "vacation togeter' I just cant see it.

I tink it a combo o guilt te selfish people is trying minmize.

She can't tell you how to feel, you are dealing with major issues and she created them. She needs to back off and give you some space, privacy to work through all of that and clear your head. Your friend? Why do they say that, no friend of mine would toss me away without warning or threaten to do so. I would treat you better than that and I don't even know you. Shock and hurt is just fine right now, give yourself permission and tell her you are dealing with it the best you can and you don't need her telling you how you are supposed to be feeling right now.