Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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Now my brain is scrambled

deleted_user
deleted_user
Here is my situation. My wife said she wants a divorce but we are going to stay seperated for a while to resolve things and get more financially independent before we get divorced. I do not want the divorce at all. My wife begged me to get a girlfriend so I would give up on her so after months of resisting I finally got a girlfriend. I don't really feel anything for this girlfriend as I see her as confirmation that I am giving up on my wife and I don't want that. And even though my wife and I are no longer together. I still see it as cheating. The girlfriend really cares for me a lot but I need to break it off with her. The only problem is I don't want to hurt her like my wife hurt me. Does anyone have any suggestions? How should I end it with her?
deleted_user
deleted_user
I think you should say to her what you just said here. You put it well, I think.
TSand
TSand
Honesty, asking her what the two of you should do seems like the best policy. You could tell her how messed up you are at this point.
deleted_user
deleted_user
be kind gentle honest tell her you realize you still have feelings for your wife and you dont want to use her.....
deleted_user
deleted_user
agreed CD1. And the sooner you do it the better, for the both of you.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Don't burn your bridges fella! Explain to the girlfriend that you need some time to sort out some issues, and let her know that you are not ready to make a commitment, but would love to be able to still be friends. Now, you have to sort out these "wussy" thoughts, and the guilt, and become a "player." A player does not hurt women, but keeps them informed, and tells the truth. Your girl friend will think your special if you tell her how you "feel." It can be a long winter my brother, so keep all your options open. Dont use, or abuse, but communicate and take care of all your friends with true warmth and compassion, and you will never be alone. Stay strong , get stronger. Be appreciative of all the good things you have in life and how fortunate you are to be healthy and young.

Mo...
deleted_user
deleted_user
The problem is, I already told her I still love my wife. She still wants to be with me.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Reply to #6 Post: Just let the girlfriend know that you appreciate her support, but that you are really concerned about not hurting her feelings. Let her know that she is in a difficult position dating a man with attachments, and that she should be extra understanding of your moods, emotions, and sometimes, your unavailability, as you move through this ocean of turmoil. It will be OK.


Mo...
deleted_user
deleted_user
I guess I don't understand if you already told her that you still love your wife why would she want to second to you.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Well I did it. I broke up with her. I told her I just felt like I was cheating and we would see what happens when I get divorced. She cried a bit but I think she took it pretty well.
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