There is absolutely no question about that. In fact, I don't even recognize the man I'm divorcing. He sure isn't that husband & father that he was for 28 or so of the 31 years of our marriage. He turned into a self-centered man that didn't care about his family, friends or anything but himself. Certainly not the man I married.

In my case it is not true,, I just really overlooked the red flags when I married him,,, was very young and naive!

WOW...i had never heard that before but OMG,how true!!!!LIGHT BULB gone off :) I have to write that one down...let me tx my stbx that one...

I know it is true for me Breeze. I have never been looked at with the adoration my stbx looked at me with the night of our wedding. never cheated took care of his 3 boys along with my kids worked, loved romance, cleaned house. 15 years later not wanting to be married

The man I married was in love in me. The one who is divorcing me is not. Nough said.

no doubt about it! i feel like i don't even know him anymore. kinda like....who is this guy? hang in there.

Yep..totally true. Never thought of it that way, till now. It's a sad thing.

my 2 cent's i think its because your blided by it when your together and when your not your eyes open to what you didnt see before.

Heck no if he would have stayed the same guy he was while we where dating we would still be together or maybe not. But they are not the only ones that change we change too with the process.

It's true in my case. And not because I was blinded by the man he was when I married him. He was a wonderful man. He changed. I have a son that summed the change up this way--I want to become the man that dad was before, not the man he is now.

Very true for me. I used to blame his head injury for everything and, while it did cause some changes I think I over looked the red flags too.

I think about it all the time. What the hell happened? People change but this is awful. I thought it was me but my friends and family see the same thing.

Not true for me. I was young & naive and ignored the red flags. He was always a lying, narcissistic alcoholic sociopath. Just more so with age.

That is true. We all change day by day....but I think we all get ugly when we divorce. I have a theory: when we are dating we show our best selves, almost manipulative or the best side really. Then when we first get married we still show that but then we show more of ourselves....and then more of ourselves.....and more...
Then if we make it in our marriages then YAY!
But with divorce: our ugly side is out....we fight, we argue, we cry.....we get vengeful, mean......YES we get different.

I think my stbx was replaced by an alien....a hostile life form from the planet Bi-Atch!