Yep, I have to go through this a lot. I just am real careful who i share with. i also say when asked by those who might chose to give me their opinion that I dont want. Mostly my sister is this way.

I wish I had advice to give. If I have to split up with my wife I don't know how long it will take to get over it. I've started to understand why my mother stopped sleeping in her bed after she divorced my biological father. You never knew that a bed had so much signifigance the same as you never knew that a band of metal weighed so much.
You could always ask for their understanding and be open with them. If they have someone they love maybe they can try to imagine how they would feel.

Experience brings with it an understanding that can't be felt in the same way as compassion does.

I could tell you about an experience I've had and you could empathize but truely never understand my feelings.

I'm not saying they are right.I'm simply saying that if I see a news story about something that breaks my heart,I still could never begin to see how the victims feel about it.I could envision it but not FEEL it.

Tell them that they are hurting your feelings more.Everybody grieves differently and in their own time frame.

I really appreciate your concern about my situation and that you want to support me.

Please try to understand that you have not walked in my shoes or can ever understand the kind of pain and distress that I am in the midst of right now. So please no advice right now, I really can not handle it at this moment in time.
Thank you for understanding.

hell print it out on a card and hand out.

Yes I know exactly what you mean...REALLY. If I had a nickel for every time one of my "friends" said "you'll meet someone", "you are strong", "you are better off without him", or any number of other parables, I could retire tomorrow!

My best friend is quiet a bit older than me and she has daughter that is close to my age and she is going through simular situations. Only her divorce was 10 years ago and in a different state... nothing all that simular, in my opinion. She often tells me that I married my husband for the wrong reasons, that I can't do this or that, that I can't date, ect. I just let her vent about her daughter and usually, we talk about her and I just keep mine to mysefl. I don't know of one frirnd of mine who has gone through this. I really do feel alone, sometimes... But I have DS and everybody here has been through simular situations so I get most of my support here.

ANYONE who is telling you it isn't that bad or you should be over it is completely insensitive. if they were saying--I"m so sorry" I am sure that wouldn't bug you. It will be hard, but part of learning to feel better is probably going to involve finding some people who can listen to you. take care.

This applies to so many Things, not just divorce. There are "things" that happen in life that some people have no empathy for...they want Comfort in their Circle of Friends.

I have one friend who can really kick my butt and make me get back up and keep walking...she doesn't issue platitudes. She doesn't tell me that there will be someone New-she says that maybe there won't (argh)

But, she has known me for a long enough time to Know what I am made of. Barb has no problem manipulating the Hell out of me to get me back on my feet. She just uses the Truth.

You need to find That Friend and put a bit of distance between you and the rest for a bit.

I have said, listen fuc*o you have no idea what I'm dealing with. I appreciate your kindness, but the opinions stop here. You want to support me then call me up to go hang out and take my mind off things, but do not pretend to understand my pain or my feelings.

I'm an aggressive person so this is not out of character for me, so you should adjust to your style but I find that honesty works the best and people usually never offer you advice anymore but just support.

They start saying things like....How are you today? and Stay Strong.....