Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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No One's Right

deleted_user
deleted_user
I am still married, but on the verge of divorce. He came home at 1 am the morning on Monday night after being at the bar. It woke me up when he pulled up, so I went downstairs, but he hadn't come in. There was an SUV in the driveway. He has a DUI, so I thought maybe someone had driven him home, and was picking up the person that drove him. Well he sat in the SUV with this person for about half an hour. I finally went out and asked him what he was doing and who he was with (I couldn't see in dark). Well it was a person who has done bad things with him in the past. I immediately walked back in the house. He followed, and person in SUV left. I accused him of doing this thing, and he went off on me, saying the person was just depressed and he was talking to him. I just don't believe him. It has only been three months since he has last done this bad thing. I just don't trust him. He didn't talk to me at all last night when I got home from work. I really don't know what to do. Should I apologize? I have no proof, so I either apologize and he keeps giving me the silent treatment.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Silent treatment is abuse & a manipulation. Please get Patricia Evans book The Verbally Abusive Relationship. It's an eye opener.

All I can advise is to pay attention to and follow your gut instincts. They're rarely, if ever, wrong.
deleted_user
deleted_user
You are being abused-My X hosed me off like a dog and drug me across the yard so I called the cops-When he got out of jail he came home and he did not talk to me for a month-never apologized for hurting me-said he had to decide to forgive me or not-Another time I found condoms in a bag I had cleaned out on two trips before-did not talk to me for two weeks-Now it can be your fault he fucked up-not you-proof is in the pudding-talking- my ass!!Don't let him do this to you.
deleted_user
deleted_user
whether or not he was doing this thing. Associating with people who do that thing and your husband doing it three months ago, gives you every RIGHT as a wife to expect your husband home before 1am on a Monday! Also, associating with a person like this, is a good reason for that to happen. Maybe the person should haev called your husband at a decent hour to help him with being deperssed.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Well, he gave you reason not to trust him; I think he should understand you deserve reassurance. When a person tries to make you feel like you're crazy, they're usually lying.

DUI, out drinking, bad company? Red flag.

It is SUCH a relief to hear people say that silent treatment is abusive. My husband thinks he is morally superior because he doesn't say anything when he gets angry. No. He just storms out, doesn't come back, and refuses to communicate for more than a week on end. It is sadistic because he knows I am a talker.
deleted_user
deleted_user
question...if you sat in an suv, in the driveway for over a 1/2 hr at over 1 am in the morning...what would HE have thought??? the same damn thing you did. my ex told me over & over & over again that "she" was "just a friend" - "she talks to me because she's depressed" "her husband beats her"...blah friggin' blah blah blah...
and low & behold...the "friend" is who he left me for.
be careful...very very careful...and yes..the not speaking is high school bullshit and abuse!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I feel better already! Thank you everyone. What should I do tonight? Should I just go about my business? Should I break the silence first? He has made me feel crazy for a long time. I'm sick of it. If our bathroom remodel was finished I would put the house up for sale now! That's what we are waiting on to sell it. It's been a three year project. I want out!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Go about your business.

No surprise, the one thing Silent Treatment can't stand is silence from the other.

Just make sure that bathroom gets finished ;-)
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