Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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next steps?

deleted_user
deleted_user
After trying and trying to salvage our 10 year marriage, I know that it is over. It is a hard thing to accept. My stbx wants to go through family mediation to figure out custody of our children and all of the other things that come along with this process. Being so new to accepting the hard fact that she is moving forward with blinders on, I'm not sure what the next step is.

Should I still get a lawyer if we are trying to go through mediation? Is a mediator in place of a lawyer? If I get a lawyer, am I obligated to tell her? Any suggestions?
deleted_user
deleted_user
If the two of you are somewhat civil a mediator may work. A mediator is not a substitute for a lawyer. My understanding is that through mediation, the two of you will sit down with a trained neutral person and negotiate the custody of the kids and the property settlement. You will take the agreement you reached through mediation and have a lawyer put it into a post-nuptual agreement or whatever they call it in your area. I would say it is still a good idea to retain a lawyer and no you do not have to tell her about it.

I was fortunate that my STBX and I were able to work out our custody and property settlement on our own. She didn't want to spend the money on a lawyer, so I haired the lawyer. The bonus in this is he is working for me and has my best interest in mind. Reaching an agreement on our own has saved a lot compared to each of us having a lawyer and litigating everything. So far I paid $750 for the retainer, which has covered most of the work done up to this point. All that is left is finalizing after the new year and I don't think the total cost for the lawyer will be more than $1500.

If you guys are civil working things out on your own is best and cheapest, if you need help a mediator is a good choice.

Best of Luck
Che2
Che2
I was also able to work everything out with my ex. I hired a Lawyer but he ended up paying. Someone will need to hire a lawyer. $ 3,200 for a simple Divorce with no fighting. Mediation is a great idea if you need help to iron out the details.
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