As I am new at this I forgot to mention that my ex hears voices in his head, the other day he had a whole bookread to him. He tried telling me it was narcolepsy ... the dr diagnosed him via email, then he tried telling me it was chemicals in the rubber where he works, and now its cuz of the sound of the airguns.... I told him I dont care what causes himn to hea rit, im not comfortable leaving the kids with him. Then he called me every name under the sun and that was the end of it. He also is a recovering prescription pill addict... so bad to the point where he is on methadone.

I would involve the courts in a heart beat. He isn\'t stable and you know it. I am not sure what is keeping you from making the move to make it formal, but I don\'t have a doubt that the courts would see your side.

My dad\'s ex wife was mentally ill- she gave all of their grocery money to the church and saw angels on the ledge in the kitchen talking to her all the time. One night long after my parents married and they had divorced (I was about 8 years old) the police arrived in the middle of the night asking for my dad- his ex wife called the police because (the angels had told her that my dad was hurt) she thought he was hurt so the police were called to check on him. As a child, this was really frightening. You don\'t want your kids to think that his non-sense is normal.

really wishing you good luck in this difficult task!

Thinking of you-

I am in the process of all the legal stuff now. I originally was going fo r full custody and him have every second weekend for visitation. I just today got copies of his taxes and income statements from my lawyer.... this hearing voices thing he broughtup only a few days ago.... so I havent been able to do anythign about it. my lawyer is on holidays of course... but I am worried about sending the kids to school tommorow. With no court order he can walk in to the school and take the kids. I think i may call in to work and keep them home. I know that i shuld keep them away from him, but the kids love him... they have him put so high and me so low... I am always the bad guy... it will be hell around here if I keep them from him, but i know I have too, I just dont know how to ease the transition

I think involving the courts is the most prudent course of action right now. If he\'s not seeking treatment that he needs, the courts can order him to at least undergo a psychiatric evaluation.

Your mention of manipulation and brainwashing concerns me. Before you get to custody proceedings, I recommend reading up on parental alienation syndrome. A good place to start with that is the book \"Divorce Poison: Protecting the Parent-Child Bond from a Vindictive Ex\" by Richard Warshak; find it in a library near you with this link: http://worldcat.org/oclc/47289226

Do your children understand what\'s going on with their dad? It can be terrifying for children who don\'t know that a loved one\'s strange behavior may be due to mental illness. A family therapy setting is a great way to discuss this, but there are some books that can get you started.

Here are two for parents and teens:
- Children of Parents with Mental Illnesshttp://worldcat.org/oclc/43066822
- Troubled Journey: Coming to Terms with the Mental Illness of a Sibling or Parent
http://worldcat.org/oclc/36008407

And four for kids:
- It Won\'t Last Forever: A Child\'s Book About Living with a Depressed Parent
http://worldcat.org/oclc/30040031
- Please Don\'t Cry, Mom
http://worldcat.org/oclc/28378681
- What Happened to Mommy?
http://worldcat.org/oclc/33266463
- Wish Upon A Star: A Story for Children with a Parent Who is Mentally Ill
http://worldcat.org/oclc/23047380

Good luck and keep us updated on your situation.

-- Melissa

I\'m not sure who to contact first, but I would start with the county. They may have some recommendations. Also, I would make sure you explain your side if the police are ever involved again, if you haven\'t already done so. Make sure they document the conversation you have with them. If you do end up in court this will be helpful. It sounds like you have a very good case and should seek full custody and he should have supervised visitation only.

In my county, psychological and emotional abuse is a reason to seek a restraining order. I called the county when my ex\'s harrassing phone calls were getting out of hand. He never threatened anything except refusing to pay child support, so I wasn\'t sure if I had a reason to file for a restraining order. When I called I found out just name-calling is good enough. This is an awful thing for both you and your kids to go through, and I wish you the best of luck.