I'm sorry you have a need to be here, but welcome.

The feeling of moving on comes, when it comes. It's different for everyone.

You will find some very supportive and helpful people here.

Hello and welcome. I'm sorry for what you are going through. Please dont think there is something wrong with you beacuse of your wifrs infidelity, it often has more to do with the other person.
This is a good place to meet great people who are going through the exact same thing you are. Best wishes to you.

No, there is nothing wrong with you, there is something wrong with the person that chooses to be unfaithful!

You will feel like moving on, when you make up your mind that you are through being hurt! It will come when you realize that you are worth so much more than the way you have been treated!

Healing hugs for you!

Your feeling sound totally natural and there is no specific timeline for moving past the hurt. There are things you can do to speed it along though, such as reconnecting with old friends, making new ones, pursuing hobbies and interests, geting some exercise, and remembering that you were a whole person before you met her and still are.
Welcome. Oh, and I agree with Nikki re: your wife's affair. It has less to do with you and more to do with her personal "issues" and choices.

wow, after a year! My husband just moved part of his stuff today and I just wrote in my journal that it was time to start healing.. I guess I was hoping for a fast recovery. I hope you bounce back and find joy.
I feel a sense of relief and maybe because for many years I felt disconnected to him. He lied alot and it was my way of protecting my self.
I see his act of infedelity as a selfish act. He did not think about me or our kids and this is hard. I guess I am just in the begining of this rollercoaster ride to recovery. my feelings are unpredictable and it sucks!
Where did you begin?

(((((hugggggggsssssss))))))))

It will take some time hun...but you will get through it.... Take time to heal and get then pick your self back up... you can do it!

I thank you all for your post and all of it is good. Especially the part about rethinking the amount and length of contact. I can easily see how this keeps me on square one over and over again.

with regard to "detrmnd" question. At first I was releived that I wasnt going crazy knowing things wasnt right. Then extreme anger, loss of sleep, weight, inspiration, then slowly i got up and moved on just fighting through my feelings swinging seemingly minute to minute. Againg as i said in an earlier post i see that i have to rethink constant contact because one its a excellent way to allow her my brain space free of charge. two i want to move on bad, but as i can see its a process and i am trusting n that. sorry you man cheated that is the absolute worst thing in the world that can happen to someone, but we are still here..again thanks for the post, you all made my night

I am sorry that you have to be here also, but you have come to the right place . Lean on us here. Journal your thoughts, and make friends, all of whom, have walked or are walking the path to healing. Limiting contact is very helpful for healing, as is controlling those things that you can, which is you and your reactions. I am enclosing a manual that we wrote for newcomers and I hope that you will find something of comfort in it. Healing hug of welcome to you. Kimmee

http://dailystrength.org/c/Breakups_Divorce/forum/2816539-manual

Madea,. Letting go
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oqDU6CPwy6Q&feature=PlayList&p=0B33BD2E54A04699&playnext=1&index=3

Welcome to our little corner of DS... sorry you're hurting but glad you found us.

Moving on takes time... infidelity... hurts like hell... you need time to heal. It's harder when you have to have contact for the sake of the kids. I know after 5 years it still feels like salt in an open sore.

And I know all about that taking them back feeling. We're here for you! Hugs!

Welcome to DS. You'll find lots of support and advice here. I'm sorry divorce has brought you here.

First of all, don't think that the fault lies with you for your wife's infidelity. That is a common mistake the betrayed spouse makes, perpitrated by the cheater who often says, "If you did this or that, I wouldn't have cheated." Know that cheating is a selfish behavior and cheaters do this cowardly act because they lack courage to do the right thing.

I commend you for trying to be friendly with your ex for the sake of the kids. I know that must be difficult.

There is no timetable for healing; everyone heals at his/her own rate. I would suggest counseling, if after a year you still are struggling. I go to counseling and it has been very helpful with my healing process (my stbx is also a cheater). I also journal and that helps tremendously.

Hugs to you. Trust me, it will get better.

I'm sorry to welcome you here, but welcome any ways. Every one deals with there pain in different ways. Only you will decide when it's time to stop hurting. Untill then, you have found a great group of people to hang with. We are an odd bunch with all the jokes and playing around. But, when one of us is hurting, were all there to pick each other up...

You are in the right place here guy. There is a lot of good people here dealing with the same issues, and pain.

Hang int here!

It's very difficult to get to the point where you can move on with your heart. I'm so sorry you have been hurt by your ex's actions. Broken trust is so damaging. Do what you can to process. I'm nearly 18 month out and if it weren't for DS, therapy, and my support group I wouldn't been in the spot I am now. I've mostly processed the divorce but there is still processing to do. Take a deep breath and grieve get it out. Remember that you can forgive but that doesn't mean you will still trust. I agree your wife is in Gods hand now. I hope you find comfort in this.