I don't even know where to start. I have every emotion possible day in and day out. I filed for Divorce on Friday and I know I needed to but I'm still so upset and angry. What right do I really have to be so upset and angry thogh?? I did this all to myself. I married someone that had no chance of ever working out. I set myself up to fail, and I don't know why I did that. I'm 34 he is 22. He's skinny and very good looking, I'm fat and ugly. I come from fairly good morals, he comes from a family of drug use, dealing, jail and prison. He told me he came to my state to make a new start a year after he got out of prison for something stupid he did when he was 16. I believed him, he seemed to have the kindest heart. We decided New Years 2007 to get married and pregnant. We started trying to get pregnant before we got married because I thought it may take a while, well I was wrong. I got pregnant right away. After we got married i started noticing some things he told me in the beginning were actually not true, and now here a year later I have realized he is a compulsive liar. I began to question if he ever loved me. he never helped with finances he got a DUI and then got arrested for Simple Possession. I have a 6 month old daughter that he does adore, or at least I thought he did. I was trying to give him visitation and only spent an 1 1/2 hours with her yesterday, offered to let him take her today if he kept her inside and he accused me of wanting a baby sister. I have people who would babysit if I needed it. I was just trying to be fair, because I made him see his daughter at my house yesterday because I don't approve of the people he is staying with right now. I just don't know, does anyone know what I can do to start the healing processes? Or do I deserve what I got for making bad decisions??
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