I am new here so I'll take a moment and introduce myself. Hi, I'm Debbie in NC. Can here to this forum looking for support and some advice from my peers and perhaps to find someone who has a similar divorce story like mine. Seems that most of the people I have met in my local divorce support groups are dealing with the breakup of their marriage due to infidelity. My story is a little different. About 3 years ago I finally put two and two together and discovered that my husband was using cocaine. Thought it had been going on for several months but discovered later when his work forced him to rehab four months after we separated that he had actually been using for the past 4 to 5 years depending on who you ask. We spend a year in some sort of therapy or the other. First, individual substance abuse counseling, marriage counseling, then intensive outpatient therapy. Nothing seemed to work and he was eventually kicked out of intensive therapy group because he couldn't stay clean one week. Finally, the kids and I were in such a state we asked him to move out. It was better to be without him then to see him high everyday, or wonder if he would come home at night. This devastated my whole family. Worse was that everyone was totally shocked by his addiction. He was the person no one would have ever considered to be using drug, me included. Kids and I went to therapy for a year and just as I started to move on with my life he sudden realizes he has a family after not talking to us for more than a year. I can't handle the pressure from being incredibly angry now. I thought I dealt with this emotion during therapy but I feel like "how dare he want us to forget all that has happened and ignore the fact that he completely forgot about us for more than a year and now acts like we are supposed to be his best friend." The kids are confused and I am no better. I just want him gone and out of the picture. Any advice or similar experiences?
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