I don't believe that we will ever understand or that any of this will make sense because we are not like them. We would never do to them what they have done to us, so we will never know. I'm so, so sorry for your pain.

I am sorry for you but it does not sound like he is a catch himself. Don't let his hurtful words drag you down since may be he was doing it to elevate him. The OW should be worried because his action does not say much about his character. He has already abandoned one family what makes her think he will not do it again.

It is not in your power to hold your family together. You are only responsible for your part. Did you leave? Have an affair? Did you beat him down? Those are the behaviors your kids hate. And be glad they hate them. Be the true good person you are, and remember most of us are lucky if we have just one good parent.

The first thing you have to do is realize it takes two to hold a marriage together. Why are you taking the responibility soley on yourself? If you did the best you could and gave all you had to give then you should be proud. You bore his children you have earned his respect. The time has come that you demand this respect. Don't give others the power to make you feel small and insignificant. Turn your energy inward. It's time to be selfish, do some things for you. People treat you the way you allow them to treat you. When you take pride in yourself and show respect for yourself he will be forced to do the same. Don't worry about dating and getting back out there, it will happen eventually.

He has to deal with earning the respect of your kids again. He now has 1 more mouth to feed, a new woman, his kids with you and then there's you to deal with. That does not sound sexy or adventurous to me. He now has more on his plate than ever before. I wouldn't be envious of that life.

We're here for you.

I am so sorry you are still in so much pain after a year. Have you seen a counselor.

Like someone else said on this thread, you ex doesn't sound like a prize.

Work on yourself and the rest will will follow.

Good luck to you.

Can i sale you an idea of "STOP BLAMING YOURSELF". my dear it takes two to tango. and yes i've been there and i do relate to you very much.exept that you are still emotionaly invested in him. i think you should take all your emotions, all your anger, all your effords and invest it in you and your kids.to become something that once he'll look back this would be his thought "I can not believe i let go of that woman" and i tell you why he doesn't see you as anything.if a man doesn't know what he wants often doesn't want what he has.do you see how you are waisting your time if you try to convince him to see you, to make him undrestand he has done you wrong? In his mind he is the victim.untill you step forward and left your human spirit to higher level and proove that you are worth awhole lot more, and not only that believe that you do, trust me you are going to do alot of crying.as far as your appearance and weight goes i also relate to you. after giving birth to my forth child, i was at 187 pound it took almost 3 years for me to weight today 103 pounds. and i'm going to share a piece of knowledge with you loosing weight is not about not eating it is actualy as odd as it sounds about eating.you just need to figure out what works for you best.so save your tears becouse there will be a day you'll regret waisting them on someone like him.perhaps then it is you who wouldn't see him as anything.as far as your kids goes i have to say do not let it get in to you.to me it is like this, we may divorce our spouse but kids don't have to divorce their parents.they shouldn't have to fight our battle for us.so feel bad all you want but don't show it to them.they intend to show more intrest toward the happier parent put on a fake smile if you have to but don't sound uncomfortable.good luck to you.