Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

11,850 Members
100,053 Posts
2 Online
Relationships & Sexuality
/ Breakups & Divorce Support Group

New but already sad by someone else' happiness

deleted_user
deleted_user
I filed for divorce 2 months ago,after 23 years and as hard as it was, I did it and I am glad I was that strong. My H needs help and I can't give it to him.
Anyway I have really good days and really bad days but today I felt so bad after seeing an older man and wife sharing their lunch and hardly talking, but you could see how happy they are, they have grown old together...there is no telling how much they have gone through and it made me smile, then I get this little green monstor pop into my head...this was suppose to be me...how can that be me now. I'm by no means ready for another relationship, but I miss the companionship so bad, I miss snuggling up at night before I roll over to go to sleep - I even miss when he gets up earlier than me and gets the bathroom first.
I want this to go away - I want to get on with my life and it is just so hard and doesn't seem possible.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm sorry you're feeling this way, wd. It is part of the healing process. You feel like you will never get past it, but you will. Take it One Day At A Time & possibly have to take TEENY, TINY baby steps. But, hey, at least it's a step in the "right" direction!~! Keep Your Chin Up!~!
deleted_user
deleted_user
perhaps that is why your getting divorced, so when you do find that special person, it will be for a lifetime. we may never know why we all are going through this, but for me, there is a reason.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Thank you!!!!
deleted_user
deleted_user
How do you know that they have grown old together? Maybe they had failed marriages themselves and have now found each other. I'm assuming my soulmate is still out there somewhere. I intend to find her.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I feel your pain. I'm just going through a separation and have the undaunting task of still living with him while my house is for sale. It's very tough and I find myself looking at other couples and thinking the same thing. Thanks, Belzar so much for your response - I hope you find her and I hope I'll be able to find him in the years to come!
deleted_user
deleted_user
where is that soulmate, anyway?
deleted_user
deleted_user
Last night I went to a friend's wedding reception and the next hall over was a 65th anniversary party. It broke my heart and I was so envious.

I am not ready yet and don't know when I will be but yet I allow myself to dream about may be day I will be lucky and find the one who wants to be with me and all of my little flaws.
deleted_user
deleted_user
But it IS possible! I firmly believe that - even tonight, when I am experiencing those feelings as well. A bit lonely tonight. Just as you, I know I did the right thing, but sometimes you just get a bit lonely. But after you get thru these stages (and I'm with ya, girl!) a whole new world opens up to you. Keep strong and keep the faith!
deleted_user
deleted_user
You will have good and bad days believe me. Try and focus on the positive of the divorce rather than what you miss.

Though I can relate to you I have realized the divorce is what needs to happen.

Hang in there okay
deleted_user
deleted_user
23 years for me too. It is so hard to realize our lifetime of dreams was shattered. Not just dreams, but expectations. We believed in forever. My husband has been living with another woman since January. It still hurts, but the pain is tolerable now. I can promise you, from my own experience, we survive. Just take each day as it comes, accept whatever you are feeling, acknowledge it and move on if it isn't positive. DS is a great place to heal.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Thank you all - very encouraging...we all need that!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Thank you Becky - it is hard to look at what I thought would be forever - we bought my dream house 3 years ago and I put so much into it but I guess things like that don't matter to him - but you are right we are strong and we will survive!
deleted_user
deleted_user
You can do this. Mine was 30, but you know what the horizon is bright. Just know the roller coaster gets stuck at the bottom sometimes.
deleted_user
deleted_user
There are so many reminders out there of what we lost. I had to go to a funeral last week for my moms cousins husband. They had been married 57 years. It was neat to see they lasted so long, but it made me so sad that my wife didn't value me enough to stay by my side.
deleted_user
deleted_user
It is hard for me to see a couple that has been together 20+ years too.. But even harder for me to see a new couple, or one that is newly married.. I just think how naive(sp) they are.. does she know it wont last forever?? How long will it be before she gets tired of him? That kind of thing..

I am finally to the point where him not being there anymore actually makes me happy. That doesnt mean that I don't want someone there with me though, he just isnt the one I want next to me anymore.
Posts You May Be Interested In
  • irishwriter

    come unwind in the bp lounge

    Posted by: irishwriter
    Last Reply: kisses2016
    7992
    theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
  • Rizen

    Walk a Day

    Posted by: Rizen
    Last Reply: Secouya
    2565
    I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...