I was going out with a man for over a year, he was part living with me and my 3 children. We broke up over problems he was having in being transparent about his dealings with his wife which was unnerving me and had an impact on our relationship. We got back together after 3 weeks, having discussed things clearly, he understood my viewpoint that I needed to feel that I was his number 1 woman, He made goog effors and all was seemingly fine. However last week he had been away, on his journey back to his house he had popped in to see his wife and child (all of which I was cool with) however when we talked about his journey home he had told me everything but this piece of information, although when I asked he was honest and said yes he had been to see them. I was hurt that he felt he had to be covert about it. I asked him to put himself in my shoes. The next day when I was at work he came to my house, unannounced, removed all of his stuff and returned all that I had given him. No note only a text to say right person wrong time. I extracted a subsequent email from him which I do not understand. I understand the words but not the message. Not known for my stupidity but would like some help - the text
Less than you deserve
I fell deeply in love. Had to think if I was doing the right thing. Tried to concentrate on what I am supposed to be doing, and why I moved away from my home town. I don't seem to have made much progress. But I continued to see you and found so many more good qualities than bad. So why did I choose to do what I have done ?.
I am torn between this incredible woman. Outwardly Invincible, beautifully delicate. who has given me so much. In every sense. Your ability to love is 'Whole'. My fear of losing my son more than I already have (Although you also welcomed, and demonstrated love towards him) I need to provide a home for him. That seems to be my overriding mission. My inability to show the same feelings towards your boys. I am way behind you there and didn't make the time for them. And my failure to have either found a job or made a better effort at what I do now.
I have always been honest with you. When I met you I had no intent to trick or deceive you in any way. I told you openly about my feelings toward my wife. I really have no intention to be with her and will be divorced, but I must do everything I can to maintain a good relationship with her, even though I understand there is an argument that I do to much.
So It was cowardice and self protection. I could try and dress it up to sound different, but wont insult you further. I was afraid to stand in front of you and tell you because I couldn't have bared it. I had got to the point where I needed to make new plans which involved us both/all, or continue with what I had started. I couldn't expect you to wait patiently until I am in the position where I am genuinely free to say 'This is what I really want' . So I did a really cowardly thing. I am truly truly sorry.
I hope this does help you heal
Love
please give me some indication on how I should read this which may help me in how I should go forward. Whether to fight for him/respondto email/pity/hate what?
many thanks