Well, do you know what you would like to do for yourself and what you need?

It sounds like you're in a rut. Sometimes the only way out of a rut is to do something unexpected to jolt you out of it.

If you've never put your needs first, it can be hard to do. At first, it feels kinda selfish and wrong. But then you start to find that the more you take care of yourself, the easier other things seem to fall into place.

You, as am I, are a caregiver. You feel guilty about doing things for yourself. To make matters worse, when noone does something for you; you'll think it's youown fault for not doing enough for them.
I know it's easy to say, but you really do need to do something for yourself, something you'd really like to have or do. Try it.

P.S. Leave the giult at home!!!

In my family-if you do something for yourself-you are considered selfish-even taking a walk without your kids-A good friend of mine told me I need to take a vitamin me and a vitamin no-I truly have tried to unlearn the shame and guilt concept that was insilled in me about doing thigs for myself.I have a girl I used to coach who said her mom shut down after her divorce-put everything into her kids-and was sad and miserable-the girl said she would have much had a happy mom who spent her last ten bucks on a manicure rather than asad mom who spent her last ten bucks on her .You can do very small things for yourself-take walk- a bubble bath- a manicure. You can do it.

I have a tendancy to be the same way, it is called codependancy! We have a sense of false guilt if we do something for ourselves, but in order to stay sane, we have to step out of our comfort zone and do something for ourselves! I agree with HG, do something unexpected, you will feel tons better! Good luck, Doll!

If you put the wine down, in time you would get bored with the couch. You would force yourself into some activity. The rut would be broken.

My first thoughts on your post.

There may be a place for wine, but now may not be the time.

I can relate. It's like we avoid looking within. I have to pay myself on the back for what I DO do for myself. I got up, I got dressed, I fixed my hair and makeup, I made it to work on time, I didn't contact him, I ate breakfast and lunch, I came to this helpful forum. Recognize what you DO do and give yourself a break (hug).

I am so with you on this. I have such a hard time putting me and my needs first. My counselor tell me the same thing. I guess we need a lesson from our ex's.

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