Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
As some of you know I gave my husband an ulitmatum last week. He has until Feb. 1 to move back home or move us to his house or I file. It has been seven months, so I feel he has had plenty of time to figure out what he wants.
Here is where I need strength...He has given me no indication that HE is preparing to move or wants US to prepare to move. When I try to talk to him about it he gives me the same answer he has given me since he left. He is working on it and he will figure it out. But at the same time, he tells me he loves me, he does not want a divorce, he wants to plan a trip with me and the kids, he talks about our financial future as if we will be together and even called his house "our house" the other day. I am not going to back out of my ultimatum. But how do I deal with the waffling between now and then?
Here is where I need strength...He has given me no indication that HE is preparing to move or wants US to prepare to move. When I try to talk to him about it he gives me the same answer he has given me since he left. He is working on it and he will figure it out. But at the same time, he tells me he loves me, he does not want a divorce, he wants to plan a trip with me and the kids, he talks about our financial future as if we will be together and even called his house "our house" the other day. I am not going to back out of my ultimatum. But how do I deal with the waffling between now and then?
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So my grandparents were forcefully divorced this summer and my mother is devastated. She’s been screaming at me lately and I’ve crying about it a little too much. Her mother and father didn’t treat her the best growing up and their divorce has her yelling at me. ‘My parents never treated me with respect!’, ‘My parents are divorced!’ either one of those issues is followed by ‘Why...
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Is my sexual abuser ( my father) capable of loving me in your opinion? I used to think as a kid my dad buying me sweets everyday after school was a treat, him treating me, showing he liked to treat me but now i realise looking back it was used to shut me up and keep me buttered up. I look back at small things he used to do for me that i considered him showing me fatberly love were all now just...
I think you need to let it go. You told him Feb 1, but you're wanting something from him now.
If you plan to stick to it, then wait until that day,and ask what his decison is.
Why did he leave in the first place? I don't think I read that.
Good luck.
As for the waffling. You need to focus on your needs and your children's needs. Do what you need to do to prepare for his answer. Check moving companies AND check lawyers.
Seriously though...he had lots of reasons, but none so big that they couldn't have been worked out through honest communication and counseling. In my opinion. We had seen a counselor a year before he left, he quit because he said there was no way we were going to make it all his fault that we were having trouble. We have been seeing a counselor since he left, and when he does open up and give an reason why he left, I am usually dumbfounded that he would really walk away from his wife and children over THAT!
You told him what you needed and expected. Now all you CAN do is wait for him to comply or not. It's unfair to keep asking him if he's decided yet because the 'deadline' is looming and you want to move forward in some way.
Let this be for a bit. Let him tell you when he's ready. Besides, do you really want to hear him all exasperated telling you "Fine! I'll be home on the 1st."