So we've been trying. But it feels just like deja vu. It's so much easier to just get along and pretend. I'm just so hurt and feel like he doesn't really love me like a husband should. He treats me like one of our girls. He spoils me. Never really talks to me. Makes me so lonely and feel so bad about myself. I would like a marriage where fights were ok because it is ok to have feelings and talk about things. No matter how many times I try to relay that to him he just can't get it. We are working on things, so I try to bring up my feelings and talk to him about things and he freaks out and says..I thought we were trying to make things work...why do you have to keep ruining things. I'm just so tired. I can't pretend I am happy if I am not. All I want is to feel like he really really really loves me. I said last night that I didn't know if it was going to work. I want him to say...we can do it! Instead he says ok. ok. it's easy for him for us to stay together. it also seems easy for him for us to break up. he just seems to want to give me whatever I want. I WANT HIM TO WANT ME AND FIGHT FOR ME. Is that really asking too much? Maybe he would feel differently about someone else. Maybe someone else would feel differently about me. I don't think I can take anymore. I don't want to ruin my girls life though......I'M SO LOST AND SAD AND HURT.
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