Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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deleted_user
deleted_user
I would like some help and advice from anyone with even a little thought. Myself and my new partner had an affair, He was still married. They have now been separated for a year and he is really keen to get the divorce and pay for all of it. I am VERY upset because i dont want him to pay all the costs because less than a month after the separation we found out she was pregnant to her new boyfriend. Which has now moved in with her. My partner and I need the money because we have just bought a house together. What should i do confront him and tell him he is not to pay all costs or let it be.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I think you need a reality check. You all cheat with others and then moan when there isn't enough money now to deal with the divorce.

Get a life, seek a counsellor and move on. The reality is, that you are getting involved with a cheater... in a few years from you.. you will back with a sad story and maybe even a few kids....

Sorry but i don't feel much sympathy for you. Get some professional counselling.
solongbye
solongbye
As the xspouse of the cheater(thank God he was smart enough to get a vasectomy) who is dealing with the emotional and financial burdens of his horrible decisions, and whose children are suffering because of his selfishness, I agree with angelcherub 100%
deleted_user
deleted_user
See i want to start a family the child is not my partners and i am really pissed that she wont go halfs because she sure got over him quick because she was pregnant about 3 weeks after separation. its not the issue that we dont have the money its she and her bf both have full time good paying work and my partner has full time but im casual and somtimes dont get work.
deleted_user
deleted_user
You went with a married man, you made your bed now lie in it! He left his marriage, she didn't. What she did after is none of your concern. You now have to pay the price and you don't like it. TOO BAD!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I think it might bewho of you to evaluate your relationship a bit....Is it strong with your partner? Your thinking of starting a family but the reality of the situation is that the 2 of you got together from an affair. So, if there is a problem in the future will the 2 of you be able to handle it or will you look outside the marriage to fix the issue? As for the financial resp. if it's your kid you should pay for it!!!
deleted_user
deleted_user
It is just money. If you want this man who was married to someone else when you became involved than "pay" the price and get on with your life. The wife did not seek the seperation no matter how much time it took her to get over it. I admire her. I wish her the best and add my concern for you- are you sure you want to make a life with someone who's answer to marital problems is to find an exit affair- Oh the hell with being politically correct- He is a cheater and next time you will be the one cheated - and then you will want him to pay.
deleted_user
deleted_user
whoops, I miss understood. If you want a divorce then you need to take responsability for your own desicions, he should pay for his own divorce.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I don't know why you would be upset about him taking responsibility for his actions and paying for his divorce. I am going to be totally honest and you may not like what I have to say, but you both are the ones that pushed his marriage to this point no matter if she is pregnant or not. Maybe you should take responsibility for your actions and get a full time job. You have made your bed now you have to lie in it. I really am getting a kick out of this because I am seeing what goes around is coming around.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Don't hire separate lawyers!!! Do mediation. It will cost a FRACTION of what a litigated court battle would cost. If they know what they want to do they can use a paralegal. If you don't know what mediation is, go to my website and listen to the audio. Look at the video testimonials. There are mediators and paralegals in every state, in every major city. 85% of cases will do much better using mediation than litigation.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I think if you had the affair then that's who should have to pay for it. No one wins in this.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Okay guys, hopefully missycs is sorry about this. We don't know all the details so go easy. I don't condone cheating neither, but now she's asking us for help. She does need to move on with her life but her choices now are hers, not ours. We all make mistakes. Let's not inflict our pain into her life at this time. Okay?
deleted_user
deleted_user
My question would be, Why would you buy a house with someone who's married to someone else? It sounds like you are pretty young and naive and perhaps this guy is just using you. He seems to have no problem jumping from one bed to the next. I would really think about what you want in your life?

To answer your question, I think the party who cheated and wants the divorce should indeed pay for it. Sorry.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I agree about paying for the divorce, but missy said it's not her bf's baby.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Let me get this straight... basically he shouldn't have to pay for all the costs of a divorce that came about (because of your affair with him) because YOU DON'T HAVE A STEADY JOB?

OMG - you sound like my first husband's wife. I'm sorry - but I don't feel sorry for you. Enjoy your sugar daddy!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Maybe you should have found a boyfriend that was available and not a married man. I guess what comes around goes around!

Maybe you should help pay for the wifes child as well. She was put in a horrible situation and you should be indebted to her!

Sorry Cerri, nothing nice to say.
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