
Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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First off..i know..get a lawyer and quick! Working on the finances but in the meantime i have to handle things outside of those parimiters.
I have not seen my children in 3 weeks.Saw them last on Halloween wher i met stbx in the city to take the kids trick or treating.They are 4 and 10.
Here is my problem.I "walked' out on my marriage and am seeking divorce and i have my reasons.Those of you who know me..understand why.Because i left i do not feel it is emotionally benefitial to her or my kids to walk back into the door of my old home and her house now.My in-laws despise me an i also am not welcome there nor would i put myself in that situation.
My stbx has threatened to "crucify" me in this divorce and make me pay "to my dieing day"..her words.The issue is i want to see my kids but she will only let me see them(hasn't agreed to meeting ,etc) if i go to her house or her parents.This was not a direct statement per se but rather by proxy.In other words about the only choice i have.Because i work 6 days a week / 12 hrs a day it is often 7/8 o'clock at night before i get off.Sundays are my free days and i have even suggested we meet at church.To no avail.
I could relent and go to her house at any time and see my kids.It is about a 45 min drive into the country.The problem i face is that i would be alone with her with "no witnesses" so she fabricate anything if she so chose to going forward.(Keep in mind she "made up a pregnancy as recently as 2 weeks ago)This in conjunction with the emotional toll walking back in could put on my kids.It could be confusing especially for the younger one.I balance this against my desire and desperation to see my kids.I am at a loss.Theirs a part of me that says screw it..let her manipulate me but at least i get to see them but than wisdom chimes in and says not to.It's the true devil on one shoulder and angel on the other picture for me.
How do i see my kids and not allow her to manipulate me or the situation? How do i protect myself and see them? I feel like i am in a true "lose/lose" situation and the worst part is..she could be telling them anything and than when they don't see me..who are they going to believe.I do talk to them almost nightly btw.:) but i just want to hold them,look them in their eyes,tell them i love them,and be there for them.:( Sorry for the legnth! Thanks for any and all imput!
_Savery1
I have not seen my children in 3 weeks.Saw them last on Halloween wher i met stbx in the city to take the kids trick or treating.They are 4 and 10.
Here is my problem.I "walked' out on my marriage and am seeking divorce and i have my reasons.Those of you who know me..understand why.Because i left i do not feel it is emotionally benefitial to her or my kids to walk back into the door of my old home and her house now.My in-laws despise me an i also am not welcome there nor would i put myself in that situation.
My stbx has threatened to "crucify" me in this divorce and make me pay "to my dieing day"..her words.The issue is i want to see my kids but she will only let me see them(hasn't agreed to meeting ,etc) if i go to her house or her parents.This was not a direct statement per se but rather by proxy.In other words about the only choice i have.Because i work 6 days a week / 12 hrs a day it is often 7/8 o'clock at night before i get off.Sundays are my free days and i have even suggested we meet at church.To no avail.
I could relent and go to her house at any time and see my kids.It is about a 45 min drive into the country.The problem i face is that i would be alone with her with "no witnesses" so she fabricate anything if she so chose to going forward.(Keep in mind she "made up a pregnancy as recently as 2 weeks ago)This in conjunction with the emotional toll walking back in could put on my kids.It could be confusing especially for the younger one.I balance this against my desire and desperation to see my kids.I am at a loss.Theirs a part of me that says screw it..let her manipulate me but at least i get to see them but than wisdom chimes in and says not to.It's the true devil on one shoulder and angel on the other picture for me.
How do i see my kids and not allow her to manipulate me or the situation? How do i protect myself and see them? I feel like i am in a true "lose/lose" situation and the worst part is..she could be telling them anything and than when they don't see me..who are they going to believe.I do talk to them almost nightly btw.:) but i just want to hold them,look them in their eyes,tell them i love them,and be there for them.:( Sorry for the legnth! Thanks for any and all imput!
_Savery1
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Right now she is able to say that you abandoned her and the children..not saying that's what you did but that is what she is able to say.
I agree it is not wise at this point to be with her in a situation where it would be your word against hers. Meeting at her parents puts you on HER turf so to speak. You need an attorney and a child advocate for your children.
It is also unfair that your children don't get to see YOU. Best of luck.
Since your financing for the lawyer does not seem to exist.. why not just agree to meet with her.
Call her now.. tell her you agree to go over there and visit the children.
Take 2 mates with you. Take two pple who will accompany you over there. Neutral parties who will not be there to upset things..they could be silent the whole time as a matter of fact. Pple the kids know if possible.
Do not tell her you are bringing over anyone with you.
Courier: According to the State of Okla.(where we reside) legal abandonment is only found if one spouse or the other leaves and has "NO CONTACT" with the other or and dependants for i calendar year.
Churop: Can't go to in-laws.I am not welcome in their home plus they are 100% behing her(blood thicker than water). Her dad is a local hero(okc bombing/911) and retired policeman.He knows alot of influencial people and judges.I would be a fool to go there.
The other issue is the toll on the kids with going to her house.I think it could send the wrong message emotionally.Don't you think? Even if i "explain" that i am just there to see them ,etc.I feel it could open the door up to hope for them,especially cause it's at the home we shared.
Sorry if i seem unwilling to adhere to anyones advice..that is not my intent and i do appreciate ALL of it!
You really need to get a lawyer without delay. Crucify you? The 50s are over.
I like the recorder idea along with a mediator/advocate/friend.
Doesn't address the emotional issues with the kids but ..don't really think that one has an answer.