
Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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Would somebody please slap me...
X and I have a very twisted relationship. I don't have a problem admitting that I still love him... or at least I love the man he was before the alien took over.
We never really fought... even when all my suspicions about the OW were confirmed, we never had a knock-down drag-out fight about it,(maybe I would be better off if we did).
Last night's topic at DivorceCare was reconciliation! I am still GOOD friends with x... We just know waht topics to avoid. I no longer take care of all the crap I used to for him (he understands that that is a consequence of the decisions he made), but I do still care, and we spend time together... (had coffee this morning before work). Neither one of us are with anyone else, and we are as close as two people could be without "getting back together"...
Is that normal???
X and I have a very twisted relationship. I don't have a problem admitting that I still love him... or at least I love the man he was before the alien took over.
We never really fought... even when all my suspicions about the OW were confirmed, we never had a knock-down drag-out fight about it,(maybe I would be better off if we did).
Last night's topic at DivorceCare was reconciliation! I am still GOOD friends with x... We just know waht topics to avoid. I no longer take care of all the crap I used to for him (he understands that that is a consequence of the decisions he made), but I do still care, and we spend time together... (had coffee this morning before work). Neither one of us are with anyone else, and we are as close as two people could be without "getting back together"...
Is that normal???
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Not sure what else to sa about this, it may be strnge to others and normal for the rest.
Going back to what we had is not OK with me, because the bar has been shifted... I never felt I had to 'check up' on him, he never gave me a reason to, until 2005! I trusted me for 15 years, and he is not willing to be accountable (still wants to keep finances separate, cannot GUARENTEE there won't be another OW, etc). So I think being good friends is the best it will ever be.
Maybe that is our "normal"!!!
(((Hugs)))
My only word of caution is to make sure and be open to new and exciting relationships. Don't close yourself off to someone new because of the safety net you have built around/with him.
((SLAP!!!))
There you go... :)
He cheated on you, he lied to you, he will not promise it won't happen again. Even your counselor advised you to split up. Many couples recover from adultery, but not when the cheater has that attitude I think.
I think being "friends" CAN and usually DOES interfere with opportunities for new "friendships." 'Twould be handy if it were not so.
Normal is whatever you feel good about in the morning. He sounded like an energy drain to me in your recent post, but if being friends works for you and isn't hiding out, I'm for whatever works.
Just be careful not to get roped into doing things for him again, or going too far back into the relationship without addressing the serious issues. Keep it casual and keep yourself open to new relationships too.
I think you mean "civil". can ex's be civil- absolutely andthat is the way it should be if there are children involved and co parenting for a number of years....
Normal is not a definable term. Nothing wrong with being on good communication terms with him.. but at least you realize his limitations..... he won't share finances, won't agree that there will be no other women..etc...
You sound mature and well healed.. if you ask me....
only my two cents worth