I have been kind of AWOL for a while since I had a lot of stuff going on and to be honest I have not had a moments peace . Well the most shocking thing to happen to me so far is that I found out I was pregnant. For months I have been thinking that I was just getting fat and I had started taking diet pills and working out like a madman. My Ex is happy as hell. He has offer to get married and i of course refused. Also I had the brilliant idea of moving my irresponsible and at the very least bipolar sister to stay with me. She has five kids and has been making my life hell. I have been losing my mind and am terrified to lose my baby. Today she came and got her kids and decided to go stay with a friend for the weekend and was going to bring them back to me on sunday. She has told a billion lies on me and trashed me to everyone. My family is no help and my Mother just tells me to just ignore her behavior and not put her out. My Ex has been hanging around like crazy now and is really the only person that is listening to me. He told me to just report her and put her out. I feel so alone and he is right there everyday. I don't know how I can have a relationship with him after all he has done but I am trying to be civil for the sake of the baby. I am so weak though. I want to be held and I am so afraid for my nieces and nephews. I started spotting today so I was put on bedrest for the weekend. Why is it that my life is always filled with drama? I have decided that as soon as the baby is born I am going to cut all ties and move as far away as I can. I can't stop crying. Do you guys think I did the right thing by telling my sister to leave? If you read my journal you will see why I feel I had no choice. Is my ex changed or just faking for the sake of the baby? Am I a bad person? Has anyone been through this or have any advice? I really, really need some help.
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