I moved out November 20th. I just couldn't take the hostility anymore, and I've been so much happier living away from my extremely controlling husband, But- I really miss my kids!
I have seen them only a couple of times since then. My youngest is the only one still living at home, he's 17. My 19 yo lives on campus at a University close to home, and he had been visiting just about every weekend.
My husband doesn't allow commercial television in the house, and I installed satellite TV in the new apartment, so I invited the boys over to watch football for Sunday. They didn't reply to my invitation so I texted my husband and told him about the invitation. He said "I won't tell you what they've been saying out loud about it, but I'm letting them make their own decisions about visiting you."
I feel like crap. He has them convinced that I am to blame for things falling apart, and I think they are angry at me.
I have avoided contacting them because it doesn’t seem right. That’s for victims of sexual assault. They use the R word and that’s not what I would call any of the things I’ve been through that are affecting me now. Even when I was raped, I only know because of how I woke up the next morning. I’m not belittling the trauma there, just explaining that what I’ve been through is nothing...
there are no wordsimagine me screamingmaybe if you all imagine st the same time it will feel like I’ve actually screamed enough to feel betterthere is no screaming in real life. I won’t terrify the kids. But I’m furious and probably going to eat my weight in chocolate every day for the rest of my life unless I can figure this crap out. That’s not healthy either. I know.