I have been asking her how she has been doing with all of this (she's 13)...she says she's fine with it, I keep asking her just to make sure though...I want her to know she can talk to me about anything. You see, I have my daughter from a previous relationship, my stbx has 3 kids from his first marriage. I was single for years (I mean, no dating, nothing until I met my husband) just me & her. She was 7 when we met. In the beginning he did try to make an effort with her, she called him dad everything! Then he changed...with both of us. He had his secrets & lies...etc. The only time he took any time at all with her was when HIS kids would visit & even that was an effort for him...other than that, nothing. It has emotionally damaged her as well. This was a constant argument in our relationship! He would say he would try, communicating, etc. Never happened. Now I know he is just not capable of any kind of relationship. (Unless it involves alcohol, his friends, lying & cheating) Anyway...I'm getting off the subject, just wanted to give a little background: So tonight when I'm tucking her in (Yes, I still do that!) I ask her how she is, she's having some tough times with some mean girls @ school...she's crying, so I lay down beside her...telling her how wonderful she is, etc. Then she starts talking about Christmas...and how she heard that my stbx's daughter (Who is close in age) was crying at Christmas about how she missed my daughter. I asked her how she knew that & she told me that she emailed my stbx's youngest brother (My daughter loved him! & he was very good to her) how he was doing & if he was still with his girlfriend, etc. & he told her. :( She told me she really wanted to be at my ex's family's house for Christmas (They have a big family & a bunch of kids. She's the only one here.) Christmas day was when I found out about my husband & the OW as well, when I found the email. (It was NOT a very good day to say the least!) So I told my daughter that his kids & her have NOTHING to do with what is going on with me & him. If she wants to call them, she can. I told her she may not like it if she starts hearing things about me & vice versa...because they are HIS kids. (& he's mean like that, he has bad mouthed me all over the place) I told her she can try and see what happens. I am scared she's going to get again hurt though. Did I say the right thing?!? He doesn't care about us anymore & doesn't want us in his life. I would hate if she did start talking to them, they tell their dad, and he tells them not to contact her. :( She'd be crushed again! It's bad enough her not being able to see them! Help!!!! :(
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