My stbx and I have a very strong group of mutual friends. He walked out on my daughter and I 4 months ago with no explanation to I or any of my frinds. I apparently made him unhappy because I did not put him first enough. Recently I found out that he was actually having an affair. He lied not only to me but to all of our friends too. He never went to them when he was having doubts but sought out another woman instead. Now that he has this new selfish attitude, he has no time for his friends. They have all been very supportive of me since all of this started and have watched me go through so much. However, when he decides that he wants to call or come around them (which is not that often), I feel that they accept him with open arms because they don't want to lose their friend. This is very hurtful to me and I know that is selfish. I know I have no right to tell them to stop being friends with him but how can you want to? How do you support me and tell me that what he did was wrong and then have it be so important to stay friends with a liar and a cheater? Am I unreasonable? My stbx does not have any respect for me to apologize or give me any explanation but he will talk to them and tell them things. What is he telling them? Don't I have a right to know? It is my life that other people are being let in on and I am still in the dark. What is fair? I don't want to lose them but it is too hurtful and tortuous to remain friends with them if they are going to continue to want to talk to him and stay friends with him. What do I do?
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