Is painful going through such a situation. We all have needs but you need to be prepared for this new world. Think twice and think about the pain you have recently went through. It make take you a lil longer but in time you will be ready and all the more wiser. I hope this helps.

Richard, I'm in the exact same boat as you are. I don't have any suggestions for you, but you are definitely not alone.

Richard, First of all you need to take time for YOU. You need time to get yourself in order. Get your head on straight. Allow yourself time to heal before you go jumping into another relationship when you're not even over the loss of this one. Take it slow and easy. Concentrate on you and your kids for a while.

I am with you but after my X left I did not have a clue where to look. Then one day a girl I knew that was divorced said stop mopeing and lets go have a drink. We went out a few times useualy in a group,and we decited we werent right together so she set me up with a friend...Now her and I are friends. Just remember not to look for love but a friend,for love is nothing more than a deep friend ship.
If you can't be friends ..

Richard - I'm in a very similiar place to you - wife is divorcing me, shared custody. One thing I've become more conscious of is that I don't seek a new relationship to replace the lost one - instead I find a new relationship because it's the right one. The one thing I don't want to do is to go through this again - it's too painful for myself and for the kids.

Richard27, just let it happen man. Don't go looking for another relationship. Just chill out and have a life. A relationship will find you when you least expect it.

Richard a little dry spell does not make you a monk. No one here is saying you have to dgo without for the rest of your life. Having a relationship just so you can have sex is not right either. You may be just setting yourself up to get hurt all over again. Take it slow,not where you can get it.

I agree with coffeelady. Take time for yourself and you kids. They will really need you to focus on them for awhile.

You might need more time. Moving on too quickly could bring feelings of guilt and shame. You might need time to heal.

I'm in the same situation as you are too. What makes it hurt even more and makes me wish even more that I was in a relationship is that my stbx is in another relationship. Weathering this storm has been the hardest thing I have done in my entire life. I just don't want to make the same mistake of depending on someone else to make me feel good about myself. I did that oune and this is where I wound up. I'm going to try and be happy with myself and work these problems out in my life before I even think about bringing someone else into it. It's one thing to be lonely, but it's another thing to be lonely and hurt. When you are lonely and hurt you should not be looking for a partner. It's a recipe for disaster. It takes time to get over this and it always takes more time than we expect it will.

I'M SURE KNOW ONE HERE HAS EVER SAID THAT IT WAS EASY.

You can do this right the first time, or repeat the process over and over again until you get it right. The choice is yours. You're still going to have this same road now or later.

LIKE IT OR NOT, BEING ALONE IS APART OF THE HEALING PROCESS. If you were married and you were in love with that person then you were co-dependent.

YOU HAVE TO LEARN HOW TO BE DEPENDENT AGAIN.

You absolutely need to heal first. It would totally be a mistake to even think about a relationship without getting yourself into a better place first. That doesn't mean you have to sit at home and mope. I try to get outside and go for walks and enjoy life. I often go with friends, but like to go alone too. I go to a public walking trail and sometimes meet neat people. When I go alone I have the option to continue a conversation as long as I want to. Being alone is not a bad thing. Take care of yourself FIRST, learn to be happy with you, then consider moving on.

I would tell you to lean into the pain. Feel it now instead of masking it with new stuff. Go through it and deal with it and at the end of the horrible shoot you will be a dateable guy. No woman or man that's worth dating wants someone in the middle. It's hard and lonely but the end does come. I'm seeing the light now!!!

Well I agree with the others. You have to heal first. And sex does not equate relationship. There is a sexship, and then a relationship. That is one thing that males have taught me, they will go through the motions of sex but it means nothing to them except an extracurricular sporting event.
I think relationships should be about friendship FIRST this way you have a strong foundation for a relationship if that were to take place.
I find that friends treat you much better than a mate so if you develop a strong friendship you have a solid foundation, make sense?
I wish you well, and hope that things do work out for you in the near future.
In fact, I know things will work for you. It seems almost normal for the original family to not work it out which is quite sad.
But light is at the end of the dark tunnel but you have to travel the length of the tunnel to get there. God bless....

Focus on yourself...spend some time rediscovering who you are. Cherish and enjoy your children. When another relationship is meant to happen, it will.

Richard, I am in the same boat, I was with my wife since high school, never really dated anyone else. She Cheated, she is leaving and She has someone else in her life to share "love" with. I am scared of being alone and getting back into the dating game. It was said before look for friends first if she is right things will develope from there. In the mean time, get some smut movies and kleenex to take of that other need. It may not be as fun as sex but you know ya gotta do what ya gotta do.