A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, 'Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!'
The husband said, 'Oh my! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?' 'Doesn't matter,' she said. 'Just get out.'

A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license. First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test The optician showed him a card with the letters


'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.' 'Can you read this?' the optician asked. 'Read it?' the Polish guy replied, 'I know the guy.'

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. 'Careful,' he said, 'CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen
To me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the! Salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!' The wife stared at him. 'What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?' The husband calmly replied, 'I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving.'

thanks for making me laugh.

Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, 'I must tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent.' 'Thank God,' said an elderly nun at the back. 'I'm so tired of chardonnay.
Okay this is the last one. Just had to share this, I wanted to laugh and who likes to laugh alone?????

All very good. lol. Makes my day to smile. thanks.

Thanks for that. When a bad weekend ends in a Monday we all need a laugh.

PS...I know the guy too. lol.

Hilarious!!!!!! Keep them coming! I love gender bashing!

Okay just one more!!!!
Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man, was drafted by the Army. On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair. On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush. That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth. On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap. The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years.

Monday Monday...this is a great way to spend a Monday, love the jokes! You are
AWESOME Lyn!
btw - can you please send over the 18 year old with so shirt please...thank you.

Yeah I will put a bow on him too. LOL Oh I will get you that receipe today too, I just have to find it. Also I may have to wait until my daughter gets here tomorrow to interpet it, she is the one that gave it to me from a place she use to work.

Wow - two yummy things wraped in a bow - thanks hon.

:0 :)

YUM