Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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MOM OR CHILD..???

deleted_user
deleted_user
DS has been my source of daily strenghth for me since my arrival.Today more than ever i am reaching out.

Last night my world changed in an instant.My wife let me know that she is pregnant as confirmed by a blood test through the DR.As some may know she has been having health issues with Low blood pressure as well as thickness(coagulation) of the blood which has already led to blood clots in the lung.She had let me know that the dr have advised her that carrying the baby to term would be high risk for her and the baby.The dr apparently advised she consider termination.She however has stated that this is not an option for her.She is willing to risk her life for our child.

Going forward i am a mess today.I am all over the map.Obviously i need confirmation-this has been a trying separation leading to divorce so i am questioning whether she is pregnant at all but my gut says she is.I don't believe she would lie about this.Assuming that is the case and the problems do persisit..i just don't know how or what to think.I am broken again today and i am hurting. :(

_Savery1
deleted_user
deleted_user
Savery,

I am so sorry that you are so confused, not a nice place to be in i know.

is having a child together been something you wanted all along? or was it not really talked about?

I would like to think that a woman would not lie about being pregnant but i know some people do.
Is she now wanting to get back together or stay separated regardless of the child?
deleted_user
deleted_user
I except the child and i am excited.I hope to have alittle girl as we have a boy together.It does not however change my intent to get the divorce.I will love he/she just the same.Stbx has not said what she expects from me but i'm sure she would like that.She has tried everything else to hang on.She did say she can do thid alone and i need not worry about being there for appts or at the bith etc.I told her i would do what i can as i can and that i cared about her and just not to put the cart before the horse.We will take things day by day.I DID let her know that this doesn't change anything as far as WE were concerned.I had to immediately set that boundary!
deleted_user
deleted_user
its good that you have set that boundry Savery, i think that is important so both of you know weher you stand.
I would try to be there for as many of the appts as you can tho, even thop she says dont. Its important in the bonding process with your child.
Congratulations by the way! (now i know your happy about it i can say that! lol!)
deleted_user
deleted_user
I am happy.I am also too worried. I don't believe in abortion..it is murder.yet, in these cases where life of the mother is at risk..i am not sure what to believe.I am beside myself.How does one choose(i realize i don't get to literally do so).I am torn. :(
deleted_user
deleted_user
very tough one to cope with Savery, i always said to my husband when i was pregnant that i would give my life for the baby if the choice ever came to it.
I can understand your feelings but only she can make this decision, no matter how hard that is for you.

my thoughts are with you all as it is bound to affect the whole family. xxx
CanadianRose
CanadianRose
what you do about your marriage.. can't comment about ...

what I can tell you is the reason I came to DS is because I have a blood clot too... and it can kill me.

If your wife has a DVT.. a Deep Vein Thrombosis that is a very serious thing.. and in her lung.. very dangerous. It can kill her. This is something she has to consider. A pregnancy can kill her and the unborn child.

please be well, know that I am praying for you and her.
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