I decided to go ahead and see the ex and initiate some action. I'll probably feel crappy tomorrow, but then maybe I wont...who knows. I went because who knows how seeing him will affect me in the long run. I don't think sex with my ex is going to make him want me back and want the relationship back. I just wanted to be with him. I don't feel upset or hurt or used, I just feel calm. If all hell breaks loose and I'm sobbing uncontrollably again...then darnit!!!!!!!
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