Last night I had the hardest time falling asleep because I was missing him so much. I was thinking that I wished he were here helping with all the house selling, financial crap. I was wishing he was there to help me fall asleep... laying next to me.... I wished he was there to come home to, laugh with, have dinner with.... but in my mind I knew that if he WERE there, I would come home to an awkward silence....If he were laying in bed he would probably tell me not to touch him and I would roll over with a pit in my stomach from rejection.... If he were there I would still be facing the financial struggle alone, because anything too stressful was not allowed to be disucussed. So why does my heart play tricks on me and make me miss him so much?
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