Breakups & Divorce Support Group

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mind didnt cheat

deleted_user
deleted_user
It seems nearly all the breakups here have involved cheating...and for some reason it makes me feel bad because mine just left me because he couldnt live with me anymore...not that he weighed up a new woman against the old and decided to leave........he just didnt like me anymore. I know I would have been gutted if he had been seeing someone else...but for some reason I feel really bad that it wasnt about a choice for him, it was just about me and he didnt want me. With the cheaters, there is always a chance they will realise the grass isnt greener and come back....but mine isnt going to suddenly wake up and like or love me again. So I have no hope.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Maybe he cheated and didnt tell you?
deleted_user
deleted_user
he did make a choice...he selfishly chose himself and that can hurt just as terribly as if you were cheated on. Like you, my husband didn't leave for another woman, man, porn, drugs, alcohol or anything that destroys most marriages. He simply decided he didn't want to put the work it took into being married and chose himself. TWICE. (I remarried him, so this is my second marriage). We both deserve better, thats for sure. Pain is pain, no mattter the reasons for the source of it. I believe DS will help both of our journeys towards happiness. Hang in there...I know its not easy.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Mine didn't leave because of cheating either- at least I still don't think so. I feel just like you do except mine did try to work things out telling me he still loved me and never stopped loving me. So why is he still going through with this?!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Kent... I hope Santa brings you hope...and love of yourself. HUGS!
deleted_user
deleted_user
My ex didn't cheat either. He selfishly said he did not want to work on being married any longer. SIGH

I can totally relate to your post.
GeocacherNY
GeocacherNY
We just "drifted apart" over the years. She said it, I pondered it, she was right, so I left :)
TSand
TSand
The cheating is a result not a cause in my case. My wife was unhappy. She tried to find a way to fix it; she couldn't. In her struggle to find something to help her feel better she turned to another man. The guy she has is a total loser; no chance he will be the next husband. It doesn't matter how we slice it; it hurts just the same.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Just cause he has "issues" is no reflection on you... good riddance. You will be better off without him.

Relax, not is all that it seems. We were not all dumped for cheating... as my dad said... most cheaters emotionally abandoned their marriage years ago.. when they lose respect for you .. it is the beginning of the end.. the simply wait until they have something to go to before they actually leave.... so your was enlightened.... but again it is no reflection on you....
deleted_user
deleted_user
there was no cheating in mine either. it does not matter, a break-up or divorce, no matter the reason is devastating, and what makes him so right as to the kind of person you are? they are just selfish.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Mine didnt leave because of cheating....mine simply left because I think he got tired of being "the rock" and trying to handle my problems and his own.
deleted_user
deleted_user
My stbx did not cheat either. Just did not want to be with me anymore and thought about herself only. She felt our marriage was a mistake. I still blame myself sometimes.
deleted_user
deleted_user
mine left as she was not in love anymore just did not wait for divorce to move in with another . still hurts.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Mine didn't cheat she just doesn't feel like being married anymore. Wants to go out and have more fun. Nice huh?
deleted_user
deleted_user
At first, that is exactly what mine told me. I hated him for it. I hated that he made me feel so bad about myself...turns out he had been having an affair for over a year. Don't let him make you feel bad about you!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Mine did not cheat on me but she was not happy or in love with me anymore. When she told me she was not in love with me anymore, I told her I could not live there anymore. I wanted to be with someone who did. I moved on and so did she. It is very hard to do and I am very sad about it sometimes. But it was for the best. Life is too short. Sometimes the decisions you make hurt but you will be better off in the long run once you begin to heal. I know how you feel about having no hope. But you will look back at this in a few years and probably not regret it. let go and move on. Work on making yourself happy.
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