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Men Mid life crisis - update

deleted_user
deleted_user
Folks I went to see a professional licenced psychologist yesterday in anticipation of my custody private assessment.

He enlightened me regarding men and their mid life crisis.

this affects up to 25% ofmen to some degree or another ( not everyone leaves their spouse or has affairs but it does affect them)

mostly affects men in their 40's and 50's

usually triggered by hormonal changes and less than perfect health.

if men have some inadequacy needs, especially involving money and status.. they almost never "get over it".. very low percentage of them realize what is really important in life - health, happiness. and family.. not material possessions.

most men who leave a marriage during a mid life crisis will have a measure of regret but may not verbalize it..

just wnated to share his professional insights with everyone....
deleted_user
deleted_user
Gee, cherub. Thanks. I REALLY needed that right now.... NOT.... That is my H's BIGGEST problem is MONEY!~!~! UGH!~!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Sounds like my wubby. He was preoccupied w/ status and material posessions. The counselor told him there is such a thing as relational sucess and in the end that is really all that matters.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Mine sure has inadequcy--sorry, I'm being nasty. I think this is a real problem for many people--men and women. It's just sad that while we are willing to stand by someone through sickness and health, they are not willing to have us stand by them.

Oh well, I'm sure I"m better off.
Che2
Che2
I told my boyfriend that I want a letter from a certified therapist letting me know that he has successfully completed his midlife crisis. Not going through that again..
deleted_user
deleted_user
Well, that describes my stbx. I'm sure alcoholism doesn't help either.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I was surprised that most men are Incurable... sad for them really.. good to know.. that you might as well leave and dump 'em.. if money becomes all consuming for them....

it is my ex 100%- he said I was getting fat and did not make a couple of hundred thousand a year so he could stay home and do nothing. that he was doing the best he could.. so ourlack of financial success ( or where he thought we should be) was entirely my fault.... imagine that... alta la vista baby!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I am with you on that aloneinutah. I thought that the "VOWS" each said on their wedding day was what it was all about.... Not the money... HHHMMMMMMM Guess that's life..
solongbye
solongbye
Well yes inadequancy is his middle name. mine lost his high paying job just before he started his affair and yes he was in his 40's. oh and the most important thing is that he is an egocentric, dillusional,selfish, drug addicted jerk. Thanks for posting this, it was nice to see it in writing.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I am no expert, but I'd to add one more factor - death of a parent.
My H changed after my MIL passed in June and he is in his late 30s (not quite mid-life yet?). He is moving out next month.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Wow, how true is that. Everything has suddently become about money, money, money to my husband and the sad thing is many never realize just what they have done in the midst of that crisis. I feel sorry for them but not in a you poor thing way but in a you poor idiot hope it is worth it way.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Saddy, My wubby left because of a combo of mil dying,mid life,possible bi-polar or ocd,and finding out that the father who raised him was not his real father. And mid life. Crazy combo! Crazy 2-3 yrs! God help us women who have dealt w/ this drama and have lived through it! My heart goes out to him but I'm done done!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I hear you Newme.. I am so DONE... there is no chance in h_ll I would ever reconcile.. there is a greater chance of hell freezing over or pigs flying...
deleted_user
deleted_user
I think mine had a quarter life crisis. Married me at 28, only a few dates and a long term relationship in highschool before me. This might not have happened if he were more experienced.
deleted_user
deleted_user
mycherub, My thoughts exactly...when hell freezes over...I tried soo hard to make it work and I gave him sooo many chances to change his attitude and realize that his family was worth fighting for but he blew it BIG TIME!!!! Never again will he ever have a fighting chance. His loss my gain!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Wow, Alex somehow your H and my H are similar in a way. We met when he was barely 22, so I was his first long-term relationship. I think he may be resenting that.
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