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Matrimonial Part 12 (NY) ??

LarryLDN
LarryLDN
Ok, I gotta go lay down. I Just got a notice of a "Preliminary Conference" for Matrimonial Part 12 which is Section 202.16

I didn't think we needed to go to court... all I Hear is KaChing KaChing KaChing. I'm told I'm paying more than I should be paying to the family, but it's surely not $350 an HOUR!

I need to call my lawyer later, but I need nap first. My MS doesn't respond well to legal proceedings. Before I Knew I had MS, 2 house closings left me so messed up I couldn't understand why. I recover easily enough, but still... when I opened the letter it was like someone punched me in the stomach and hit me upside the head at the same time.

The page I googled said the judge may even personally talk to us. Maybe my uncontrolled reactions to authority figures will be beneficial for my case, I don't know, I just made so much progress in health this year, I hope Tuesday doesn't take it all back.

I gotta find out if this is in my favor or not. My lawyer may be forcing this action, her lawyers may not have responded to paperwork requests. I don't know.

I'm wondering if I should ask the stbx, or not.
deleted_user
deleted_user
First of all, you need to relax, which is what you are going to do. Second of all, you need to reign in your fear of the unknown...F E A R...False Evidence Apearing Real. Here was the best conversation that I had with my attorney..."what will happen on Tuesday when we go to court?" Attorney response tersley "how am I supposed to know what is going to happen on Tuesday, its only Friday." Best thing he ever said to me. So Larry...this is what I would do, and as a single mother of twon 3.5 year olds it is how I live my life...You cannot think about yesterday it is in the past, you cannot change anything that happened yesterday because it is over. All you can do about yesterday is learn from it today. You cannot worry about tomorrow because it has not happened yet and the events of your life during the next 10 minutes might change the course of the rest of your life. So, worry about today only. Think about right now and even 10 minutes from now. Plan for dinner and taking a shower. Make sure that your children are taken care of, clean and fed. Make sure that they will be cared for tomorrow if you have plans, but beyond that, think only of the right now, because right now is all that you can do. Eventually, the day will end. The sun will set and if we are lucky we will wake up tomorrow and have the opportunity to do it all over again....Dont worry about this stuff...its not important and you wont remember it in 6 mos anyway.
deleted_user
deleted_user
no one can top what lizzy said, she is so right. stay in today. yesterday is gone, and tomorrow has not come yet.
LarryLDN
LarryLDN
yeah, thanks, I know all that. I know how to recover, but my body reacts to visual stimuli without my consent. I have MS and none of my training the last 14 years has changed that, only to recover from it.

I just want to know why this court appearance was asked for, is it standard procedure 'moving forward', are we that far along; Or is there a problem?

I'll call my lawyer later, but advise here is free, phone calls to them are $$$$/hour
LarryLDN
LarryLDN
I also pay for the entire time my lawyer is at the court house waiting for my case to be dealt with? Oh man... so that's like a grand right there. Each time
deleted_user
deleted_user
Can you just ask the stbx?
LarryLDN
LarryLDN
I don't know which sequence I should do that in... I guess I could ask her before calling the lawyer.
1toughcookie
1toughcookie
Don't ask her, ask the attorney. Meditate... Isn't that what you tell me. All will be fine. Its all just part of the process.
GeocacherNY
GeocacherNY
Ok, I got the scoop. This IS it! The Next step.

Was told to email/call my stbx and ask her, and to ask her lawyer, to show up before 9 instead of 9:30 and we may get out sooner.

She said it could take up to 3 hours there, but the actual meeting with the judge should only be 15 minutes or so and I don't have to say a word.
GeocacherNY
GeocacherNY
and Now I Know what Part 12 is.

We may just need to go back one more time, if all is ready, in two months. Otherwise it may require a 3rd time. I'm hoping next time is it. That would be on my timetable just fine and be one of the dates I said my decree would be on, hmmm... actually, the FIRST one I said.

I wrote about it in my journal. But it doesn't matter. LOL.

Learn something new every day. Or a whole buncha things at once to make up for the slow periods. This was one of 'em.
GeocacherNY
GeocacherNY
Saw my SIL, she joined stbx, haven't seen her since before the split, she was civil and friendly.
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