My marriage (of 12 years w/3 kids) to my wife has been a little rocky in the last month (she says 6 months). We've been separated physically because of a job opportunity I got 3 months ago. The business is now being sold which meant we now need to move somewhere other than originally planned which made a stressful situation worse. At the news of the change of plans a month ago my wife suggested taking a break from eachother, she wanted space, us to see counseling etc. This caused me grief and confusion as we have been away from eachother for 2 months except for every other weekend or so. We managed to re-connect, take a weekend alone together etc. However, I became a monster of suspicion while getting advice from people who had been divorced twice etc. My wife and I are very attractive however we've always had a trust between us that has very rarely been tested. A rare case was about 4 months ago when a mutual friends single cousin (Doctor) invited my wife to an afternoon get together at a bar. My wife thought that there were going to be others there but he was alone. She came home, told me and I expressed I did not like the whole situation. She agreed and I thought that was that and actually somewhat forgot about it. 2 weeks ago though I found out that she had still received emails from this guy and an occasional phone call mostly by voice msg. stating that he and his cousins would be in town and suggesting getting together as a group. When I confronted her she said she thought that I had over-reacted originally and that she was just trying to keep some sort of piece between everyone and didn't want to hurt her relationship with her girlfriend that is this guys cousin. She also said she set him straight when it happened and she had no attraction to him in any way which I believed and still believe. I confronted this guy in a very low-key civil and mature way. Though my wife was initially mad that I wanted to confront him she agreed that it made sense after I told her what I was going to say. It seemed that we were moving along and then I started getting dropped private phone calls on my cell which is what this guy called me back on originally. I started assuming it was him and so I called my wife and asked her if he had emailed or phoned her. She insisted no. I asked to see her emails to see if he had emailed her and she reluctantly gave me the password but only after telling me that there was "girl talk" on some of the emails and to not look at them. I told her I was just going to look for any from him. However this caused me more anxiety for some reason as I had realized that there are and is another life she was and is conducting without me. Needless to say there were no emails from this guy but I looked at some of her emails between her and her best friend (who's a single, boob jobbed, loves attention from guys slut) who she hasn't seen in a couple of years but talks to quite periodically. The email from my wife was about a conversation they had the one night about a month ago while they were on the phone drinking. That night was also the night I had left to fly back to TN after not seeing her or the kids in over 3 weeks. In the email she says to her friend, don't worry about me, I guess I have a little crush, but I won't do anything stupid, not for a boy. This spun me. I thought that I was going to get some insight as to what an insensitive a-hole I was that weekend or something but not that. So I confronted her, she said it is nothing, she was mad at me for betraying that I wouldn't look at her emails (guilty), it's no one that I knew as I thought it was the Doctor guy. She wouldn't tell me anymore, who she was talking about and just focused on how she hasn't been that happy for a long time. She insisted nothing happened, said it kills her that I read that but that she was mad at me for ever reading it. That was 2 weeks ago. I had to drop it with her but I'm having a hard time shaking it. I feel like a fool. I'm busting my ass (I make a bunch of money) giving her unlimited spending, she hasn't worked in 10 years, try to take care of her emotional needs (not perfect at all, I've been guilty of drinking too much with a buddy of mine down the road playing pool until 2:00 a.m.) taking her on trips which she's acted like she's had a blast, took her and the kids to Disney World flown by private jet before I started the job, then sent her with the kids to Hawaii with her brother in my place to go on the family trip we planned before this job got in the way. Now I feel like I'm walking on egg shells, she acts different, says she wants to go see her single friend for a weekend in Phoenix, then meet up with her in New York for a weekend. What the hell's going on? Am I over-reacting
Posts You May Be Interested In
I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
I gave my 2 week notice last Friday 13th. Now to join you fine people in a life of leisure and nothing else to do but to look out for myself....is it just me or does that sound pretty boring? My goal was to live to retire and I guess having to take early retirement because of health reasons wasn't exactly the way I had planned things. I just can't stay in that building that is reeking mildew...