I initially had a guy but he was lame. After seeing how nasty my stbx was I switched to a women. We all know they are heartless. LOL

I purposefully chose a woman because I believed she would be more in tune with my needs as a woman. Yeah, yeah, I know that sounds really sexist. She is great. She can be a bulldog if you want, or not. Anyway, she has tons of male clients. Whether you choose a man or a woman, get someone who specializes in Family Law, not general practice. Someone who only does divorces and custody cases knows the laws inside and out and will save you time and $$$. I've seen people use attorneys who do a broad spectrum of cases and they are definitely not as good as someone who only does divorce.

Mike40, I should take offense at you comment about ALL women. But in general, all my friends are men because I think most women are heartless! And, my daughter is going into law and I think she will be a kick but attorney, so in that case I would say go for the female:)

You have good and bad in both male and female attorneys.

Some people want a ballbuster or a pitbull for an attorney, and they come in BOTH sexes.

People need to go with whatever attorney they are comfortable with. I would suggest that you find an attorney that is willing to do what you want, the way you want. Just because they are ballbusters or heartless, doenst mean they will do what you want them to do.

Unsuspectingvictim is right. You need to make sure your attorney will handle it with the tone YOU want. My husband and I agreed that we did not want an adversarial divorce (because then everyone loses) and I made sure that my attorney was willing to agree to that.

Divorce attorneys often set the tone for how things will go. They see it as their job to get everything they can for their client. There's nothing wrong with that but when you start pitting one spouse against the other,things get ugly very quickly. Just make sure you know going in how you want the divorce to proceed and communicate it to your attorney. Of course, if you STBX is playing dirty then you have no choice and would want someone who can fight back. My attorney can play it either way. Some can't.

I spoke to a lot of attorneys, the best one I talked to would not take my case because is retainer was to high and I guess he wants to fry bigger fish. He did give me a lot of good advice and pointed me towards several other lawyers. I don't care if they are male or female, you have to be some what comfortable with who ever you choose. When you buy a stove or some other high ticket item, you shop around. This is no difference seek advice were ever you can and get recommendations it does not matter the gender you just want a good one.

I agree it doesn't really matter if your lawyer is male or female.. they need to listen to you and negotitate for you. My first lawyer told me it would all over in 30 days.. boy was he mistaken..they strug him along and played him like a fiddle. Find out if you need a mediator type lawyer or a litigation type lawyer . In my case I needed a litigation type lawyer, he is expensive but he is protecting my best interests and making sure their tricks are at a minimum.

Nice Mike, I have a female divorce lawyer. With the two of us strong woman together we are making my husband never wish he married me! I personally think woman are better because they have more emotions. I dated a lawyer not so long ago and he didn't care much about the clients as long as he won the case he was on.

I received this advice about divorce lawyers: Lawyers are by nature taught to win the conflict. Given this approach they will spend the time to make sure you "win" and in the process rack up numerous billable hours. If you can avoid using a divorce lawyer then you should because they will end up costing quite a bit of money - money which you and your ex could have both used at this time. The advice I was given did not differentiate between male and female lawyers. My wife and I are using a mediator which has it's own set of hassles such as going through the division of your entire life together step-by-step.

For me, it was about the age. I chose a younger man. First, I feel very comfortable talking to him - not intimidated by him. He doesn't talk down to me. Second, I knew it was kill my STBX if I had some great young attorney!!