Good job. You are on the right track. I suggest that you take note of what activities do make you feel better, write it down, so that you can revisit those in the future.

I feel the same way about being at war against myself. I feel like sometimes I'm a different person than I would be normally just trying to find a decent mood! I feel such a lack of motivation these days. I have to make myself clean house, cook for myself, change the sheets, and go out even to the grocery store. I have never been like this! I hate it and yet it is a constant battle to do anything things days. I do look forward to work because it is the only time I get my mind off all this "stuff" I'm going through. I am so busy at work I hardly have time to look up and when I get home I dread it like the plague. I have always been a homebody and now I hate being at home but yet I never want to go out or do the things I once did. I have three grandkids and if I didn't go to their activities and help babysit them I guess I would never do anything but work! I hate living by myself and yet when I am around people these days I feel anxious to get back home. I hate feeling like this!

Cynthi, so much of what you describe about your daily life is like mine! I don't look forward to going to work, but it is the only place I can catch some breathers from this divorce crap. I am determined to do some "real" housekeeping today, not just the minimum I have been doing for two months. I know what you mean about having to "make" yourself do very simple mundane things around teh house. And I should be grateful that I still have a house, i am probably this close to losing it! We are losing the rental house (our first house), I don't see any way out of that. I still drive a nice car, but buying gas is getting more difficult. I don't mind tighteing up on water and electric use, and my food bill is so minimal cuz i am not hungry anymore. (I still am able to drink the "good" stuff tho!) I have to pay my bills today. I already know that I probably have just enuf mone to pay them all, but that should be counted as a blessing, right? I jsut get so lonely. Yes, I was lonely within the marriage, but this feels worse, even tho I know it is better. I lived alone for so much of my life, now I knwo what it si liek to ahve a companion adn it is hard to not have one again. Anyway, better stop this kind of rambling, putting myself back again -- I need to go do something positive, even if it only takes 5 minutes, I have to do something productive and good right now.

wow, sounds just like me. I am just trying really hard to stay in a descent mood and not let that bad low mood win. I hope you have a good day.