I lost my cool with my stbx today and I regret it so much. I had been doing so well until we started discussing issues with the house. We started to argue over the house and when he said to me that the situation wasn't fair to him and I had walked away and left him to deal with this mess I lost it. Somehow we went from discussing the house to me becoming horribly insulting which makes me feel so childish. Ahhhh... I am so mad at myself for letting him get to me like this. I hadn't had to talk to him in over 2 weeks and hearing his voice and listening to the tone in which he talked to me was just too much. I felt like a fool for having put up with the way he treated me for so long - and I don't understand why I didn't just see it sooner. It gets worse, I got so mad that I once again tried to get him to admit to the 2nd affair and some other things that he continues to lie about. He refused to and I'm sure he took great satisfaction in me losing my cool and still being upset that he hurt me. There is no logical reason for me to have done this and I don't know why I did. I know it's not realistic to expect him to have any real respect toward me but I guess I thought if he could finally be honest and stop lying, that would show that he truly felt bad for what he did and that he could show me respect. I'm embarassed that I didn't maintain my composure when I have been doing very well. Someone told me that a person's true character comes out in situations likes these and I've tried to act respectably. And it turns out that I can't finalize the divorce until the house sells.... which means I'm stuck in this for longer than I originally thought.
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