I met the man of dreams in November of 2005. He was everything I ever thought I would want and have. We were married on February 16, 2007. Like most, this was one of the happiest days of my life. There were times throughout the marriage that things didn't seem quite right and I would question him...but in the end I would always come out feeling terrible that I doubted him. We hardly ever bickered though. We laughed and had a good time 95% of the time. Family and friends couldn't get over how happy I was and what a great guy I had finally had. (Especially after a horrible previous marriage). About a month before Christmas 2007, he started an arguement with me over a very minimal thing (a tv show). He left the house storming mad saying he had had it and was leaving me. I spent the rest of that evening and the entire night crying and begging God to bring him home to me. About 5 am. the next morning, he came home asking for forgiveness and promised he would never do that again. he vowed that if something was bothering him he would talk it through and we would work it out. The first of January he insisted on taking an over the road truck driving job. It was three weeks before he was able to come home for me to see him. I missed him terribly. While he was home he loaded up his truck with much more then he really needed. On February 3, 2008, two weeks before our one year anniversary he sent me an email saying he was never coming home. I was devistated. I became very sick and everything seemed hopeless. His reasons via email for leaving were that I deserved better. I begged, I pleaded via email for him to call me or come home and talk. His response was always no. I have been picking up the pieces and realize I am much beter off but there are days that I miss what I thought I had and who I thought he was. He recently has said that he knows he made a big mistake and threw away the best thing that ever happened to him. It's like my ears are deaf to what he has to say. I cannot ever trust him nore take him back. But I have to admit so many days my heart longs for the man I thought he was, for the marriage I thought we had and then I am reminded of all the lies and deciet not to mention his cowardly way of leaving. My question to anyone who cares to help is how can I still continue to love what I know was a lie?
Posts You May Be Interested In