Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
This question came up a few days ago. We were wondering if there was a difference, YES, per my shrink today.
You can love a friend but you are not IN LOVE with a friend. You are in love when you feel a need to make the other happy, fulfilled, you want that person; sexually. You can love many and they can love you but to be IN LOVE is an intimate feeling, a desire to be one with them.
So, I guess when he said "I love you Pam but I am NOT IN LOVE with you........he knew exactly what he was saying. It's not a "cop-out" like we thought.
You can love a friend but you are not IN LOVE with a friend. You are in love when you feel a need to make the other happy, fulfilled, you want that person; sexually. You can love many and they can love you but to be IN LOVE is an intimate feeling, a desire to be one with them.
So, I guess when he said "I love you Pam but I am NOT IN LOVE with you........he knew exactly what he was saying. It's not a "cop-out" like we thought.
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
If I may be so bold, why did it have to come from a shrink before anyone would believe it? I guess the medium truly is the message, b/c you'd think that the many good ppl who feel that way(love but not in love) would count for something.
Anywho I don't even care I am just so happy that some are seeing the validity of the statement.
Love is an action word. There are feelings associated with this sure but you can love a friend in a certain way and you can love your spouse in a certain.
That is still a bunch of crap "I love you but I'm not in love with you". They are basically saying I don't want to work/make an effort to work on our marriage.
I was the LEAVER, and I was heartbroken to do that. Read my journals, it's been a hard trip for me. The way I interpert that line is this.
Love: to care what happens to the other person,wanting to see them at "peace" with life, what they feel, their safety, their health ect...
IN LOVE:
Wanting to be intimate, share a life together, bringing out the best in each other, putting each others needs first.
I still love my STBX, in that I care about his well being, safety, ect....and I even care about his feelings and what HE is going thru now. But I am not IN love with him anymore, I don't desire to be "one" with him anylonger. Being "one" with him hurts. I am better off being "1/2 of "one" and letting go of the hurt.