I thought I loved my stbx, I thought I was a big support I thought I was always there for her, I thought wrong. Can Love really turn to hate or is it a defense system to cover the pain. I don't want her back but I have dreams that she is back and every thing is good. Is my sub-consious playing games with me. I can barely talk on the phone to her and I want her to just leave every time she comes over. She has become ugly to me and very unattractive. Am I seeing her for what she really is or am I just trying to protect my self from the pain. I am angry very angry but I just swallow it whole and keep it completely in control. I hate that she is still pulling strings, I hate what she has become and how she make me feel. Venting feeling better rage was building but now it is subsiding, subsiding.
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