I'm so sorry you are hurting so badly right now. If I were in your shoes, I would be equally crushed. Go ahead and cry, get it out, let those tears flow and flow until they can't flow any more.

I know, it sucks to feel forced into doing something you really don't want. It's ashamed she won't follow through with her desires since she appears to no longer want to be married.

Give yourself a little time to work throught the pain, and then do what you have to do to protect you, to take care of you. In the end, that is what is most important...YOU!

We're here for you anytime you need us, utilize us! Sending hugs your way!

I'm pretty speechless on this one. Let it out. Pick yourself up and dust yourself off. Get up and get moving.

She is very selfish. I'm sorry for you.

Sounds to me she is asking for you to give her permission to cheat, thats all. I'm so sorry Lost.

I am going thru the same thing, well some what. I am the one who left, i have loved him and his kids for the past 15 years, and i have came to a point in my life where i realized that no matter what i do i can never make him love me as much as i love him, and yes it hurts!!! but i will live and i will find some one who will love me like i should be loved and you will to. it hard, but try to talk it out with some one, try to keep your mind off it as much as possible. hope this helps.

Dude, I feel so bad for you. I know the feeling when reading something like that from someone you care so much for.

To say she will sign anything ... It seems she has made up her mind and is determined to sleep with someone else by what you posted.

You probably dont want to hear that it will take time to get over, and try to move on. I didnt want to hear those things, I just wanted it to work out. But sometimes, people just arent on the same page with each other. I have questioned marriage lately as I wonder why so many people just cant stay faithful, stay together, etc. There is no good answer really. But I do know, you both have to want it, and if she is trying to force you in to letting her sleep with someone else, otherwise she will be gone, and that is not something you are Ok with, then you got a tough decision. But I think you know the right decision.

Doesnt mean it will be easy, but all in all, you have to remember to respect yourself, your values, and morals. If she can do this, she obviously does not treasure the same values you have, especially when it comes to marriage.

If you need anything, or jsut want to vent, feel free to email or PM me.

*HUGS* i'm so sorry. I agree with you though...when they start wanting to play the field (for me) its over. I understand the pain you are going through---its emotionally tramatic...take it one day at a time and breathe...somehow you get through it. Wish I could say something to make you feel better, but having gone through that....I know there is no magic therapy. Just know you have supportive friends here and we are willing to lend shoulders. *more hugs coming your way*

You tried your best to save it, and it's not your fault. Too bad we have to go through so much just to find the stbx is off on a different tangent.

Thank you all for your words. She came over to drop my daughter off and we talked about the email. I told her that I didn't want to be the one filing for a divorce I didn't want but I couldn't be married to someone who clearly wants out. She tries to justify the seperation to dicover things about ourselves. I didn't know cheating was on the list of dicoveries. I told her I would wait a couple of days and think about filing. I told her we should both be in agreement and right now in my emotional state I am not.
Am I being stupid in wanting to be clear for myself on this.

I am sorry for your pain. Divorce yourself emotionally from her and the pain (Yes, I know, easier said than done, but let her do the paerwork. You were the one fighting 'til the end.

I'm with you. I don't get it. I don't want the divorce, but he is living with someone else! He said he didn't want a divorce, but I have to imagine he only wants my insurance and the tax write off.

Why is it that we have to do the work and accept the hurt while they move on?

i'm so sorry things didn't work out the way you wanted them too. your hurting so badly. i know it's hard to believe, but there is a better plan in the making for you. wish words could take the pain away.