Im new here and I really am feeling lost. My boyfriend and I of 22 years broke up 2 days ago, well I guess that's what happened. We have had a very up and down relationship since year 1. He is an alcoholic and I am in recovery. He refuses to stop drinking. I have tried and tried to help him, but I can't. I finally was going to tell him that I wanted him to move out until he gets himself together, I didn't get that chance. On the day he left I told him that I needed to talk to him. Later on we were in the car and he was driving and pulled over and put on the brakes really hard and said his chest was hurting and he began to cry. I said we needed to go to the hospital and he refused. I then began to drive and we stopped again, he got out of the car and I asked him what he was doing and he said he was getting air, he seememd to be breathing fine and acting normal. Then he told me to go ahead. We are in the middle of a restaurant parking lot and he just walked away. Now remind you that we had not talked about anything at this point so he didn't know that I was going to ask him to leave. So I pulled off called him an asshole and I have not spoken to him since. I did see him going into a neighbors house where there is nothing but alcoholand drugs. I have no Idea where he is today. This is so crazy and Im so fed up. But I also feel really sad. It drives me crazy not knowing what he is doing or where he is at. I know that we dont need to be together but it is so hard to change even if it's hell Im living. It's not fair that I have to make a decision that I don't want to make. I keep thinking of him with someone else, happy and in love. Why can't he dothat with me and be here with his family? Im so angry and my nerves are all over the place. I am confused, sad , mad, angry, resentful, and scared. Any advice?
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