I feel very helpless and lost. I left my boyfriend in September after 9 months. He is 45 and I am 30. He tried to get me back with manipulative tactics, and I remained strong for months on end despite the pain. I feel so horrible because I do not want to cause any pain, and even though I feel terrible myself, I don't want him to be sufferring because of me. I thought that we could end up as friends and still be in touch but that will not be the case unfortuately. He lives a block away from my work and knows when I leave at night, and have been getting my coworkers to walk me out just in case he is around, and the other night when I got to the first stop light I saw him behind me in my rearview mirror, and he slowed down after passing me to see me drive away. My father emailed him and told him not to follow me any more or else we will have to contact the police (there had been some other questionable instances where he might have been waiting for me to leave work and I saw him driving on the road). I feel terrible because I do not want him to think that I do not care about him, I really do, but I feel like I am being very cold. My parents, friends, and therapist have all told me that he is not good for me but somehow all I see is a wounded person hurting despite anything he has done. I broke down and called him twice last night and he didn't answer, and I know he didn't because of my father's email. And then after that I got scared in the night wondering if he was going to blow up because I contacted him. I woke up in the middle of the night with indigestion. I just want peace of mind knowing that I made the right decision. Any words of honesty and/or encouragement would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
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