Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Hiya Tony! If youve been aware of the "relationship" why have you not said anything sooner? She is, after all, your wife. You have been married for 10 years yes....nearly all of them unhappily from what ive gathered, but even still what kind of communication do you have together after all this time? Its interesting that you use the word "given" when referring to your children, as if they are gifts to bestow or rewards to hand out....I would say forced on would be more appropriate. You make it seem like youve done her a service! Well...now shes nearly 36 with no career, no marketable skills and very little options. Youve taken her son in...congratulations...another reward?? Ive taken in two children before, one of whom was severly autistic...your "accomplishments" dont impress me. Being married and churning out children is easy, any welfare family can do it.
You say im messing with her and confusing her huh? It may interest you to know that she asked me for options, and i presented *all* her options that i could see. If "messing" with her includes telling her the truths of her situation, then im guessing im guilty yes. I didnt path her down a particular choice at any point and ive made her well aware that theres prices to be paid no matter what she decides. I may have been the one to present the reality of the situation to her clearly true, but to believe that these events revolve entirely around me is pure.....dementia. You think its about me?? I would be flattered, but no, thats not the case now Tony.
Melinda hasnt been faithful because she hasnt been fufilled...Pure and simple as that. I know im not the first person shes expressed interest in, and trust me when i say ive gone quite in depth with her about why she feels the need to go outside her marriage. She is with you for security and stability, which are good things to be honest, but certainly not because you two are emotionally and psychologically compatible....Ive seen this more then a few times; enough to recognize the symptoms. Im sure youd like to place all the blame on her, but really Tony....you didnt have to deal with her after highschool now did you??? No one forced you to stay through the problems. You chose to shoulder an existing burden. I do know for a complete fact that if you put her or someone like her with anyone where she *feels* fufillled, that the infidelity problems end...just like that. Its not even the sex thats that important to her, its just the feeling of dealing with her on an equivalent level that she craves....sex is just a fleeting by-product of the emotional intimacy shes looking for.
Im in agreement that if she continues shell definetly lose something...Your both going to lose something actually, and the nastier you both get the more both of you AND the children will lose.
Losing everything though is a ridiculous concept, and you know as well as I that it doesnt apply. She and the children will definetly pay costs though, and ive made it abundantly clear to her how bad it can actually get. Ultimately she has to weigh what shes willing to lose to be "free" as she puts it. I know she and the children will need somewhere to live; you made three of those with her and there still your responsibility even if she, at some point in the future, re-marries. You do know that right? Regardless of what happens, they will always be yours and until there 18, your responsibility. You say she doesnt think much of you, and that is a complete lie....do you think she would have stayed this long if that was the case??? Shes practically jumped at your command for the last 20 years! And its still gotten messed up. If you think your wife and children are demanding, its only because youve made it so....YOU steer the ship, not your wife. You. You should have been laying down the law years ago and not let it get to the point where you view your family life as "problems". Women and children need dominance tempered with compassion, otherwise you have chaos...and well....what do you have now?
I dont do quick fucks. Thats all im going to respond to about that.
Sexy pix comment is a well known myspace phenomenon, and was asked in jest.
Shes a size 4-6, i remember her being a 6-8 when she was 16. I asked because I thought i might have pants laying around that fit her since she said most of her clothing was loose on her now, and that she was buying new.
This is a civil reply to a mostly civil request. I can easily say fine, I wont talk with her again but as you pointed out shell be off to the next and the next and doing more then just talking ad infinitum until something breaks again.
Ill have to take issue with your last statement though. Let me turn it around for a second and ask you what kind of scumbag lets there wife fuck men and women in front of them in a vain and desparate attempt to save there marriage? Pandora's box blown wide open with that maneuver. You shouldnt be so quick to bandy words and lay blame sir.
You say im messing with her and confusing her huh? It may interest you to know that she asked me for options, and i presented *all* her options that i could see. If "messing" with her includes telling her the truths of her situation, then im guessing im guilty yes. I didnt path her down a particular choice at any point and ive made her well aware that theres prices to be paid no matter what she decides. I may have been the one to present the reality of the situation to her clearly true, but to believe that these events revolve entirely around me is pure.....dementia. You think its about me?? I would be flattered, but no, thats not the case now Tony.
Melinda hasnt been faithful because she hasnt been fufilled...Pure and simple as that. I know im not the first person shes expressed interest in, and trust me when i say ive gone quite in depth with her about why she feels the need to go outside her marriage. She is with you for security and stability, which are good things to be honest, but certainly not because you two are emotionally and psychologically compatible....Ive seen this more then a few times; enough to recognize the symptoms. Im sure youd like to place all the blame on her, but really Tony....you didnt have to deal with her after highschool now did you??? No one forced you to stay through the problems. You chose to shoulder an existing burden. I do know for a complete fact that if you put her or someone like her with anyone where she *feels* fufillled, that the infidelity problems end...just like that. Its not even the sex thats that important to her, its just the feeling of dealing with her on an equivalent level that she craves....sex is just a fleeting by-product of the emotional intimacy shes looking for.
Im in agreement that if she continues shell definetly lose something...Your both going to lose something actually, and the nastier you both get the more both of you AND the children will lose.
Losing everything though is a ridiculous concept, and you know as well as I that it doesnt apply. She and the children will definetly pay costs though, and ive made it abundantly clear to her how bad it can actually get. Ultimately she has to weigh what shes willing to lose to be "free" as she puts it. I know she and the children will need somewhere to live; you made three of those with her and there still your responsibility even if she, at some point in the future, re-marries. You do know that right? Regardless of what happens, they will always be yours and until there 18, your responsibility. You say she doesnt think much of you, and that is a complete lie....do you think she would have stayed this long if that was the case??? Shes practically jumped at your command for the last 20 years! And its still gotten messed up. If you think your wife and children are demanding, its only because youve made it so....YOU steer the ship, not your wife. You. You should have been laying down the law years ago and not let it get to the point where you view your family life as "problems". Women and children need dominance tempered with compassion, otherwise you have chaos...and well....what do you have now?
I dont do quick fucks. Thats all im going to respond to about that.
Sexy pix comment is a well known myspace phenomenon, and was asked in jest.
Shes a size 4-6, i remember her being a 6-8 when she was 16. I asked because I thought i might have pants laying around that fit her since she said most of her clothing was loose on her now, and that she was buying new.
This is a civil reply to a mostly civil request. I can easily say fine, I wont talk with her again but as you pointed out shell be off to the next and the next and doing more then just talking ad infinitum until something breaks again.
Ill have to take issue with your last statement though. Let me turn it around for a second and ask you what kind of scumbag lets there wife fuck men and women in front of them in a vain and desparate attempt to save there marriage? Pandora's box blown wide open with that maneuver. You shouldnt be so quick to bandy words and lay blame sir.
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