It's going on 9 months of separation now. I still haven't filed for the divorce. I want it. There's not a bone in my body that wants the STBX back. For those of you that have read my journal, you know there are issues with him wanting to take a big chunk of my only asset... my home. It just kills me to give him any part of that. I get so mad every time I think about how much this man has cost me already. I want all this to be over, but I'm stuck. I can't seem to choose an attorney. I can't seem to get this divorce underway. Every month I make more payments on OUR joint debt while he doesn't pay a cent. Every month I pay his medical insurance premium (which he reimburses me for, but still!) because he wouldn't have any insurance otherwise. This is costing me while he's doing what he's always done, just sitting back and letting me take care of his stuff. What am I so scared of?!?! Why can't I do this?
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