Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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Letting go

deleted_user
deleted_user
I know in my heart and in my soul that I am doing what is absolutly the right thing for me. I am getting rid of the bully from my life. I don't have to follow rigid rules and be criticized constantly for not doing something 'good enough'. I know that the man I fell in love with was a man who purposely misled me as to who he really was. But I remember that man that I fell in love with. And even though I know that he didn't really exsist, I still love him. I miss the good times that we had. I miss having someone to come home to. I miss knowing that someone is there if I need a hug. I know that now, I will never talk to him again. And that's a good thing, I know. Because I won't have to deal with his snide remarks and his overly critical comments. But it's still hard. It's lonely and I'm sad. I am so horribly sad. I wrapped my life up in this man for two and a half years. And now it's over. Completely over. My heart is broken. I know it will heal over time. But the pain is so overwhelming that is almost incapacitates me. God I just want the pain to stop. How do you do it? Get through the pain? Stop the memories? Get though the night when the loneliness is like a deep dark abyss that you can't get out of? I'm so lost. I feel like I can't find my way out.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Welcome back, I havent seen you in a week or two.

All I know about it is to give it time. I have not seen any other ways to stop the heartbreak.

Getting around others going thru divorce helped me a lot. I did not have the benifit of this internet during my long divorce, but I did go to a church I never went to and started going to their divorce workshop every week. The first few times I just cried there. They are loving people.
deleted_user
deleted_user
There is comfort in having "someone" there every day all the time. Unfortunately, just because it's comfortable, it may not be the right person.

Sounds like you are seeking/need replacement companionship. It's not easy to find.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Reading your message brought me to tears. I know, 35 year old men are not supposed to cry. Reason being, 90% of what you said I'm going through myself. I fell in love with the person I thought she was. We're still together, but I'm married to a different person now - at least through the next few weeks.

The pain is debilitating at times. The emotional rollercoaster makes me want to crawl in bed and sleep all day.

Family and friends have been tremendous. Not just to have someone to talk to, but to just to be with.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I feel a lot of your pain. I'm there myself, and it's hard to move on. It's the worse pain that I have ever been through, and it's only the beginning. You will heal. It takes time.
deleted_user
deleted_user
i wish i had magic words for you that would take your pain away. but, maybe you just answered your own questions. the bully is gone, the man you loved is gone, the criticizing is gone, you know have to wrap yourself up in yourself. time is the only healer. and all of us at one time or another wanted to push the fast forward button, but, if it were possible, you may miss out on something wonderful or miss out on meeting great people to add to your life. hang in there. we are here for you.
deleted_user
deleted_user
i did this with a man for 29 years and i feel your pain. i read through all the suggestions and i have nothing new to add. i have kept two journals. one on here and one at home where i like to relax. the one at home has random thoughts, affirmations, positive quotes, and angry, bitter repsonses to my ex. i don't know why but this really helped me alot but the pain can be unbearable at times and that you have to just plow through. use this site and all the wonderful people here.
deleted_user
deleted_user
It feels like it will never end, but it does eventually. Hang in there, the day will come when you start to feel stronger and the memories start to fade.
deleted_user
deleted_user
One thing that helped me was staying busy, keeping your mind occupied. Another is using your support network; sometimes just being able to talk about what's going on has an amazing healing affect on who we are as a whole.
deleted_user
deleted_user
it is soo wonderful to know that we are not alone, that besides God, people do share the same problems. I was there where you are and it DOES get better. I read all night, played w/ the computor. It has been almost three wx since i have seen my husband, yea, i miss him still but i don't need his clinging. Life is wonderful, look at nature, like the gal said...do arts and craft, read, write..God bless you.
deleted_user
deleted_user
You are in a very good place right now. It's not the CURE for what we're going through but it's a step in the good direction. Good for you.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Hi Susan,

I feel you pain and have been there many times. Time is what heals everything and that is what everyone on this site is sharing.

About 26 years ago one of my sisters lost her baby boy when he was a year old. She thought the pain would never stop. She has helped me a lot with my divorce to understand that my pain will stop. I believe her. Losing a child has to be a lot more painful than losing a cheating husband.

Weird as it is I at times miss my ex. We didn't have a very close relationship but he was there to talk with and I miss just sharing ordinary stuff.

I've tried dating, but I'm not ready.

I know you are going to make it... we have no other choice. Please hang in there and come here often.
Loved1
Loved1
Beautiful share. There is beauty in the real sadness. You will survive and get stronger for this. It is ok to hold onto good memories, and to remember that things changed and to go back knowing what you know with what you see changed in him would not be the same anyway. It is ok to be sad, you are healing. Nurture yourself. Great Book - How to Survive the Loss of a Love.
deleted_user
deleted_user
You expressed your pain, and I felt like I could have written the same thing. My husband left suddenly eleven days ago, and I haven't heard a word from him. The pain sometimes crushes me, the night is the worse. Logically, I know time will heal, but I feel stuck. Thank you for sharing your feelings because it helps to know we are not alone in our suffering. I will pray for you, and I hope you find the healing that you need.
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