He broke my heart. I thought he was the one. After being with stbx for more than 20 years, I found the courage to leave this abusive (verbal, emotional, etc., but not physical) relationship. I though Joe was my "reward" and I actually believed we were sould mates. Well, I guess I messed up and chose the wrong person again. In the beginning he was so kind and said all the right things, but he has a manipulative way about him - doesn't take responsibility for his actions, blames me for his shortcomings, etc., the classical behavior in youarenotcrazy.com. Every argument, no matter how trivial, ended up with him threatening to leave. Last week was the last straw after he made plans to spend Friday evening with me at a party. He stayed exactly 35 minutes and left after eating because he had another party to attend. I chose not to go because it was a function where his wife's (yes, he is still married but separated for years) family would be at. He was to stand in as a father figure and dance the waltz with his step-niece who was celebrating her sweet sixteen. He promised to be back as soon as he did so. Well, 2 1/2 hours later when I called to see what was up, he claimed they were waiting for the photographer and had not even danced yet. I left my party alone and went home. He called the next day and asked if I thought if was fair "what I did to him". How he did not get a chance to enjoy either party because of me, even though I know he stayed until the wee hours of the morning. I refused to argue with him but told him I could no longer stay in a relationship where I was not respected. I told him what I expected and said now it was up to him. He broke up with me the next day, never admitting to any wrong doing and blaming me for everything. I have been miserable all week waiting for him to call and make amends. Will he come back like all the other times or is this it? This weekend will be horrible and, no, I don't want to go out to be with friends. I'm going to throw a pity party and cry my eyes out wondering why I can't seem to have a normal relationship. My self esteem is so low I feel like there will be nobody else. why is he so cruel and why can't I just realize maybe the best thing is to let him go?
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