Don't let him come home just yet but if you want to tell him you are willing to start trying to work things out. Come up with some boundries and some things that need to be done to make you feel better. A must do condition is marriage counseling then see how that goes. If this works out you might be able to save your marriage. Good luck.

Has the relationship always been good? Or is he mentally, emotionally or physically abusive? The other thing to be considered.....DO YOU LOVE HIM?

wow, that's a tough one!!! depends on where you are now with him gone, where the kids are now...you need to reach deep and decide...maybe talk to the kids. TRUST IS HUGE!!! how much is going to change and for how long? I feel for you...HUGS!!!If you've never tried for a second chance, this may be it...and it just might be for forever!

It is ok to work on things little at a time don't just rush into think everything will be hunky dory. Make baby steps and slowly work on it. If that is what you want to do.

we have had soooo many chances...this last time was supposed to be forever...my oldest told me"if i found out something like that was true that person would be to the curb" my middle child wants dad home and the baby loves her daddy so much..

especialy with the kids having him come home to have things screwed up and then trying all over again. It is not good for them. Just confuses them. You can work on your relationship you just take the baby steps

My husband left end of October, asked to come back end of November, stayed for a week and left again. The week he was home he told me that he loved me with all of his heart and could not imagine his left without me. Still don't know why he left the 2nd time. But thats just my situation. I hope and pray that yours works out better then mine.

First of all, it is my opinion that the children, unless they are adult children (and maybe not then) have no business knowing the whys. My first hubby was having a fling with a 27 yr old co-worker and he was 40. I NEVER told my children. It is important for children to love and respect their parents. It can cause damage to the children when parent bring them into the seperation or divorce. Divorce is hardest on the children...of ANY age anyway. Only you can decide if you want to give him another chance. Can you trust him? Because you have to. Can you forgive him? Because you have to. Do you love him.....because you'll have to.

Sorry...meant to say "could not imagine his life without me"

Don't just do it for the kids also do it for yourself. If you feel that you can trust him again and if not it will always be in the back of your mind if he's doing it again or not.

Ask him why he wants to come home and see if his reasons are good enough to maybe start over again. But starting over should include counseling for the whole family. You have to consider what this is doing to your children. Good luck.

he does not want to do counseling

Ok--you've got a man who was secretly hiding an internet affair. Did he make this decision with you and the kids in mind. The last several months did he make the kids a priority. What is he missing?

He doesn't want to do counseling? Did he do anything other than run out and have lots of sex with this other woman? Did he work on himself, see a counselor, join a support group? What evidence does he give you that he's going to change?

When he comes back is it possible he could have another internet affiar? Could he not buy another cellular phone or one of those web phones and continue on ? Do you want to live with this uncertainty.

What kind of relationship is this modeling for the kids? Are the kids learning about respect in a marriage?

Think long and hard. Only you can answer these questions.

Lostlove he has made it easy for you, no counseling, no coming back and you have to hold firm or you are going to be right back where you started.

lostlovea...

this is real easy....look at what you posted. just the first few lines, then ask yourself why would want that back again?