Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

11,908 Members
100,064 Posts
2 Online
Relationships & Sexuality
/ Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Last Chance!

deleted_user
deleted_user
Ok, last night I spoke with my wife. Over the last 3 months, she has been very unsure as to what she wants to do...to be with me, or not be with me....that was her question. Well she had decided that she did not want to be with me, for she wanted her independence and ability to build her self-worth. She has been a military wife for the past 9 years. She decided that she wanted to go to back to the town we were living in before, because she had a good job and was very comfortable there. Well, last night I (very light-heartedly and as an idea) asked if she would be willing to stay married and work on things (to include commitment, faithfulness, etc.) while just being apart. I asked her to think about it and she said ok. If she comes back and says no, then it means she wants much more than what she said....right? Throughout the last 3 months, she has been saying that she is tired of being my shadow, while not being stable enough to progress her own life. She said she can not come back here, because she does not like it here. If she says no to this offer, then she REALLY just does not want our marriage. This is truly our last chance....at least I know I have done absolutely everything I can to make this work. Any thoughts?
deleted_user
deleted_user
Thoughts? I think the Goverment is chewing up Military Families and spitting them out. Divorce is rampant in the civilian sector, and must be horrible for the Military. God Bless your Family. It dont look good.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I would also suggest individual counseling for yourself to prepare you either way if she's going to accept your offer or not. There must have been things that make her feel she's in your shadow. Look at what those were also. Work on yourslef and she'll see the difference/changes
deleted_user
deleted_user
Check with your shirt and see if you can possibly get hummanitarian orders to where ever she's from. I've heard of people getting them in situations like this.

I know I know, mission comes first. But sometimes they can be accomodating.
deleted_user
deleted_user
As a brother in uniform I understand your pain. The military is very hard on families and I find it tends to magnify problems. I don't blaim the military but I think it contributed to the break-up of my first marriage. Always away, moving every few years. I think military life just speeds up problems that were probably going to occur anyway. I am sorry but you have to respect her needs, like my ex she has paid a big price over the last few years. I hope it works out, keep being positive and let her know you understand. Good luck.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I applaud you for listening and hearing what your wife is saying. I believe that when you give 100% even if it doesnt work you still come away knowing you gave 100%. Best Wishes
Posts You May Be Interested In
  • irishwriter

    come unwind in the bp lounge

    Posted by: irishwriter
    Last Reply: kisses2016
    7992
    theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
  • Rizen

    Walk a Day

    Posted by: Rizen
    Last Reply: Secouya
    2633
    I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...