
Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

deleted_user
Hello everyone.I am 45 years old and have 2 kids.Our daughter 11 and our son 15 years old. I am a recovering addict with 10years clean. I am a manger for The Home Depot. My stbx left us 7 months ago. We have been together sine 1989. Thats where i met her. I am a pridefull, honorable, respectfull man, I have values and i am a man of my words. When i say i am going to do something i do it! Well since the stbx has left, my daughter has ranaway several times and attempted to commited suicide, i stop her before she could hurt herself. She has beeen to the hospital 10 times since july 07. The stbx knows all of this and yet still doesent wont to stop her "Adult Choices"! The stbx has been using for awhile and she is acting out on her old disfuntional behaviors. She is a swinger, she is on a swinger web site. She shows herself on their on a live web cam. While she was still here, she has shown our daughter her profile on the site! I know this because since she has been gone our daughter has told me how her mom showed it to her. And when she did it she was proud of it! I know that this is long and i am sorry if you are reading this Thank You. So here i sit feeling the walls closing in. My daughter is a mess, I am on a FMLA from work so i dont have any income. Every damm day their is allways something to push me futher over the edge. I woke up this morning to find my daughter gone! She just up and left again and went for a walk. She is back now. I dont really know if this is making any kind of sence, i am just letting it flow out. I am alone and i am damm tired of it! I thought that the woman that i married was the one i was going to grow old with, be my partner in life! I feel like something has died, i am feeling a hole the size of the Grand Canyon in me. Lost empty alone wait i said that. Confused a shell. Hell i was in controll of a $25 million dollar building! How can i pick up the peaces when more keep breaking? I am trying i am seeking counseling for all of us. The kids are pushing me every day. They wont help with chores and stuff, well sometimes they do but its a act of God to get them to do anything. The stbx every time we have talk she doesnt wont to talk about solutions. She knows that she has screwed up and i havent, that piss her off badly! Hell she wont me to screw up! SO are yall still reading this? Help me please! I wont a real hug. I wont to pick up the pieaces and live my life. I am not getting younger. I wont my kids to have success in their lives not this BS! I am tired of waiting, how much longer am i going have to wait. I wont to get back to that productive man that i was. I wont to see that sucess again in my life! The stbx would tell all of us how much of a failer we were. I would allways fight back and stand up for us. She is out their screwing and having a grand old time. Hell i cant even get aroused, exitied. There i said it! Now i have taken another risk. I am afraid to take anymore risk. Damm this fucking diease of adicition. I feel like i am a idoit, foolish stupig man. When another part of me is saying "No your not"! The war is inside me too!
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Feels overwhelming doesn't it when there seems to be SO many things wrong in your life at one time. Choose you battles wisely. Work on what YOU can control and try not to worry about the rest.
Good luck!
Your kids can get through just about anything..as long as they have someone to keep things stable. That's you..and you can do it.
Also, here is something that I tell myself repeatedly. If my kids were in an unhappy relationship, would I want them to stay? NO. I want the very best for them and I feel that the example I am giving them by their mother and I starting over is the best one. The key is to never villify your expartner. Let the kids know that she is doing things that she needs to in the process of discovering what will make her happy which is what you want (Say that whether it is true or not. Some lies are for the best and deep down, it probably isn't a lie.)
Remember that you live for YOU. Your kids are the largest part of your life, but it is you that you need to make happy. The time you spend with them adds to that, but is a step toward the ultimate goal of becoming who you want to be! I'm on the same journey and it isn't easy, but seeing others and aspiring to reach their level or remembering being at that low keeps the fact that improvements are being made in focus!
Take care,
-E-
I understand and commend your commitment to her and I hope someday she will see the same thing. It's quite possible your daughter would be better off in a home that deals with these issues.
(((((REAL HUGS)))))
You CAN get through this.
Hugs,
-Dee