
Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I know it sucks to hear about the OM but what if they NEED to tell you something about him..like something he said that was out of line or made them uncomfortable.
AND..they may need to vent.
Sorry buddy :)
That doesn't mean it doesn't totally suck and I feel your pain, big time. But just remember, a close relationship is contingent on being able to be very open with the other person, including parent/child relationships. Hug.
How about you have a specific time to tell all about what goes on over there, and they can get it all out. Then, outside of those times, they only tell you something if it is really important. That way you can be ready for it and it will not hit you so hard, but they get to say it, and then the rest of your time with them is free from the other man.
I'd say just grin and bare it unless it's getting obnoxious.
For example my kids (5 and 4) have mentioned the OW and her kids and not say anything. But one time they called her Melanie-mommy and I told them not to call her that and that I am their mother. And then I called ex and told him that it is inappropriate that they be calling her that especially since they are NOT married and that if he hears it to correct them. I'm sure jackass didn't but at least I said something to him.
If you say something to the kids, they may feel guilty about having fun with the OM/OW. Then feel guilty because it would hurt you. Which in turn causes angst for them.
I do share your same feelings, but try looking at it from this side before you talk to them.