Ah,, you are in yo-yo land,, I am sooo sorry! It is horrible and the feeling of being in limbo!
Have you talked to him? I am sure that is a stupid question, but one I had to aks! Sounds to me he still cares.. don't know what exactly it means!

Yeah, thats why Im so darn confused. I just dont know what to do. I feel like I keep getting mixed signals.

i would definately talk to him. he still cares about you. find out if what was the driving force behind your separation could not be mended with counceling. never give up if its possible.

your story is my story...read a " a message to mombasa". I konw JUST how painful it is. The yoyo. It just sucks! Love me or leave me. Playing on my emotions is torture!!!!!!!!!!

I would say for sure limbo is the worse place to be. I really do not want to lose my husband, I love him more than I have loved any man on this earth, but perhaps his letting me go after playing limbo for the past 9 months was truely a blessing.

I see it's like the bargaining phase of grief "what if...?" I realize from reading your post, I may be in the same place. Back and forth land with ex boyfriend. I sympathize.

no, you're not crazy...you love. as for the back and forth...!?!?! what lead up to all this...what discussions have you had/arangements?

Thanks everyone. Im glad Im not the only one in the confusion boat. I wish none of us had to go through it. My hubby will not do conceling. He told me that straight out. I just started counceling for myself 2 days ago. I want to say to him....alright....Im done with it all....then my thoughts change and I get scared. I do love this man with all my heart and I dont want to lose him.

Reply#7 .... Well, since we seperated, almost a month ago, I would call him a lot and at the end of every conversation, Id tell him Id love him and hed say the same. Then he completely stopped saying it. A cpl days ago I had to meet him at walmart to bring him his Social Security check, so he could cash it and give me money for the bills. As we were about to part ways, he said "Give me a hug because I know you want to" I gave him a hug, and as he walked away, he said "I love you." That night he texted me and asked me a question...I answered him back and told him Id call him in a few days and told him goodnight and that I loved him. He said goodnight, but no I love you.

Oh hon, if he loved you, I think he'd be driving you around, to make sure you're safe. I'm such a big believer of "actions speak louder than words." and that "Words are cheap, but actions take a lot more give a s__t." But then again, hope is what keeps us going. You'll know when you know. Love you, girl........

I hold onto hope also. I was told to by his parents...however...I DO prepare myself for the worse as well. You need to do the same. Prepare yourself NOW, and still hold onto that hope. ;)

I remember going through this. I went to a couple of divorcecare meetings and did a lot of listening in here. Dont you think it is interesting that we allow the other person to decide whether we have a relationship with them. I hate when I give my power of happiness to another. My stbx has made it very clear that he is not interested in our marriage it still hurts, but it is so much better

Thanks Imhealing...its just tough you know? I love him to death and I just dont know what to do. I love you too!

Your hope may be whats giving him the strength to leave. He kows you still care so maybe he can test the waters and still come back. When you are definte on what you want he will have to be too.

He could want to leave and is just being nice out of respect for your memories together.

Thanks everyone.. I am trying to prepare myself for the worst but hoping for the best....and it hasnt been easy. Far from it, as Im sure you all know.